


Summertime Sadness

by beanfic



Category: Born to Die - Lana Del Rey (Album), Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Carnival, Drinking, F/M, Festivals, First Dates, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Ice Cream, Josh Dun & Tyler Joseph Friendship, Josh in Love, Partying, Picnics, Regional At Best Era, Romance, Siblings, Summer, Summer Love, Summer Romance, Swimming, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-01-24 15:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18573940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanfic/pseuds/beanfic
Summary: The feeling of euphoria that ran through you as you watched your grad cap soar through the air above you was unlike anything you had experienced before. A chill ran down your spine as you thought of the long, summer months ahead of you full of late night adventures, crazy parties, and way too many bad decisions. College would be here before you knew it, and you were determined to make this summer the best one yet.All is going to plan until you meet a cute guy at a party. He’s funny, attractive, and all around perfect, but not everything is as it seems. Will the electricity last? Or will your best summer yet only be full of sadness?





	1. Chapter 1

The black graduation cap settled perfectly on the top of your head, and you pulled out your hair from the sides as you inspected how it looked. Your black dress was peeking through the top of your red gown, and your black heels accentuated your legs. You always wondered why your high school colors were red and black, it seemed like such dark and boring colors. But that’s how high school was, boring. And dark. 

You heard a short knock on your bedroom door followed by a high pitched voice asking to come in. You turned the knob to see your little sister staring up at you. Her name was Bri, short for Brianna, and she was fourteen. She was finishing up her last year in middle school, and she was nervous about going to high school next year, but she had all summer to continue worrying. 

Summer. Summer started tomorrow. You usually loved summer, but this time it was different. This was the summer before you started community college in your little hometown of Bexley. It was probably the definition of suburbia, but you didn’t mind it growing up. Especially because you were only minutes away from Columbus. 

“Do you ever wish you did high school differently?” Bri asked you as she sat on your desk chair. She spun around in circles until she got dizzy, she was sometimes very immature for a   but that’s what made you love her so much. 

You loved your brother too, but he was older. His name was Johnny, and he was twenty-one. He was busy working most of the time, even though you weren’t really sure what he did. Something to do with coding and computers. You enjoyed the time you got with him though because he always made you feel loved and safe. 

“No, I think my high school experience was fine.” You started to apply makeup on your skin, utilizing your very limited makeup skills. 

“All you did was study, you never even went out and had fun!”

“There aren’t a lot of parties in high school, that’s a false stereotype.” You started to think about your high school experience and wondered if you would have enjoyed it if you did something different. It’s not like you had a bad time. You had a close group of friends and a best friend. Her name was Mariah, and she was a cheerleader. You didn’t play any sports, instead, you dedicated your time to yearbook and studying. 

You were part of the full IB program at your school, and you tried your hardest to graduate with a 4.0 GPA, but the one B you got in your advanced US history class sophomore year screwed that up for you. You were known as the girl who was always studying, but why was that such a bad thing? You had friends, you had good grades, and you were happy. You started to wonder if you were really happy, or if you have yet to feel what true happiness is. 

“I want to go to parties when I’m in high school, and I want to kiss lots of boys,” she snickered. You shot her a look.

“Don’t end up like a little slut.”

“Don’t slut shame” she spoke sternly. “We need to empower sluts!”

“Whatever.” You shook your head.

“You’re just annoyed because you haven’t even had your first kiss. You know, I thought with you liking boys and girls that it would give you more chances to have your first kiss.”

She had a point. 

“I’m waiting for the right person.” You always were jealous that your little sister had her first kiss before you, especially when she was so young. 

“Just make sure to tell me, okay?”

“Of course.” You and your sister were close, and you guys tell each other everything. You remember the day she first got her period and she came running into your room holding her bloody underwear, excited that she was finally a woman. Or the time she had her first kiss or the time she first gave a blow job. She trusted you, and you were forever grateful for that. 

“I’m really glad that you aren’t leaving for college and you decided to go to community college instead.”

“Community college is cheaper, and I don’t want to be distracted by parties.”

“Always focusing on school, do you ever just have fun?” Bri said as she threw a pillow that was on your bed at your face. You caught it before it could hit you.

“Hey, watch it! Summer is for fun, the school year is for school.” Your response resulted in an eye roll from Bri. 

“Hey girls, can I come in?” your mom stood in the doorway, watching you and your sister talk. You watched her eyes look you up and down, and you could see her eyes start to get teary.

“Mom, I swear to god if you start crying right now.” 

“I’m sorry but my baby girl is graduating high school!” she pulled you into a hug and you reluctantly wrapped your arms around her. 

“Are you sure I look okay?” you asked your mom and sister, spinning in a circle so they could get a good look. 

“Your hair looks pretty!” your mom smiled. 

“Thanks, Bri did it!” 

“The hundreds of youtube videos finally paid off,” she joked. Bri wanted to be a youtuber so badly. She even saved up for a camera, and she started to record makeup videos and hair videos to post. She was really talented, you couldn’t deny that, but she also happened to be the most socially awkward person once a camera turned on. 

You grabbed your purse and followed your mom and sister down the stairs to find your dad sitting at the counter. He took one look at your and his eyes too started to water. 

“Oh my god, not you too Dad. Seriously?”

“I’m sorry,” he wiped a tear. “You look so grown up and I’m just proud of you.”

“I’m proud too!” your brother yelled as he walked into the kitchen to join the party. 

“You’re only proud that I actually graduated, you thought I was going to drop out,” you reminded him. When you were a freshman you went through this phase where you wanted to be homeschooled, and your brother bet that you wouldn’t end up graduating from high school. But here you are. Graduating. 

“The ceremony starts soon, we should probably get going,” your mom pointed to her watch. Your dad nodded. You all filed out to the family car, a green Kia Soul. You thought it was the ugliest car, especially compared to your car. A red Kia Forte. 

You were stuck in the middle back seat, between your brother and sister. Bri watched youtube videos on her phone the entire way, and you and Johnny listened to music. When you arrived at the arena, it was like a wave of red and black everywhere. Finding parking was a struggle, and you ended up walking more than you wanted in your little heels. 

“Y/N!” you turned around to see Mariah running up to you. Her dark curly hair was poking out of her cap, and her skin glowed with highlight. 

“Mariah! You look so good oh my god,” you hugged her. “Hi Tyler,” you gave a little wave to Mariah’s boyfriend who was standing behind her. You had met him on multiple occasions, but you were always surprised how your best friend ended up dating an older man. 

You were always intrigued by Tyler, especially since he was so quiet. You knew that he played music and that he was really good at basketball, but besides that, he was a mystery. But he made your best friend happy, so he was okay in your book. 

“Can you believe that we are actually graduating?” Mariah asked.

You shook your head, “Not really, but I’m excited for summer.”

“Speaking of summer, there's a party at Tyler’s friend's barn house tonight and you should totally come with!”

“Will Becca and Grace be there?” you asked about your two other friends. 

“Becca will, and I’m not sure about grace, but please come! It will be so much fun and you could spend the night at my house! Tyler will drive, and we can drink!” 

“I don’t know”

“Please.” She looked up at you and stuck her bottom lip out.

“Fine.”

“Yay!” She wrapped her arms around your shoulder and started to kiss your cheek over and over.

“Stop!” you wiped your cheek, and then punched her softly. 

“I’ll see you after!”

“Mhm.” You watched her walk away holding hands with Tyler. You headed to this big room filled with your entire class. You had to line up in alphabetical order, and you knew absolutely no one in your line. 

You tuned out the teachers giving their speech on graduation etiquette before heading out to the seats. You thought about the party, and your stomach started to fill with excitement and nerves. You had sips of alcohol before, but you’d never gotten drunk before. Maybe this was the summer of firsts. 

The actual graduation ceremony went by fast. The valedictorians gave their speeches, and you watched as each person went up and shook hands with the principal, and then grabbed their diploma. When it was your turn, you focused on not tripping. You shook your principal’s hand, and it was sweaty. On your way back to your seat you remembered seeing your entire family waving at you. 

It was a good feeling when everyone threw their caps up in the air. It was raining black, and it was difficult to dodge the falling obstacles. It took you a few minutes to realize that you were actually done with high school. 

You found Mariah after the ceremony and she gave you another hug. “I can’t believe I’m done with school! Work here I come!” 

“I still have school.”

“That’s okay, it’s summer now!” she smiled at you. You followed her out of the arena to find your parents in the sea of adults. 

“There she is!” You could tell it was your dad who spoke behind you. You turned around and was immediately greeted with a hug from your brother. 

“You did it, little sis.”

“Yeah I did!” you whispered into his shirt.

“My turn!” Bri pushed Johnny out the way and hugged you again. Next was your mom and dad. Their eyes were red with tears. You were glad that the rest of your family lived in Alaska, so you only had to deal with your parents crying as compared to some of your friends who had their whole families here. 

“Hey mom, Mariah invited me to a party tonight and then I’ll spend the night at her house, is that okay?” 

She pursed her lips as she looked over to your dad. He held his hands up as a way to say “don’t get me involved.” 

“That’s fine, just make good choices. Just because you are eighteen and graduated doesn’t mean you get to be wild.”

“Obviously mom, I don’t get called ‘goody-two-shoes’ for no reason.”

The car ride home seemed like it took forever, and you were getting antsy for your first real party. You wanted to get out of your dress and put on leggings and a sweater. 

Once you got home you headed up to your bedroom and got changed. You decided on your black leggings, and a maroon blouse and a jean jacket over it. You kept your hair and makeup the same. 

You heard a knock on your door, “Can I come in?” your brother asked. 

“Come on in!”

“Are you going to drink tonight?”

“Probably, why?” you got suspicious that he might tell your parents. 

“Just be safe okay, I know the first party of the summer can get crazy! Just call me if you need me to pick you up!” he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into a halfway side hug.

“Sure thing, thanks, big bro.” You shuffled away from his arm as he started to mess with your hair. “I gotta head out now, Mariah is going to be here in like two minutes.” 

“Do you need condoms?”

“What the fuck Johnny.”

He shrugged, “I’m just looking out for my little sis.”

You rolled your eyes as you shut your bedroom door and ran downstairs. 

“Have fun tonight!” you heard your mom call, but you were already headed out to Mariah’s car that was waiting. 

“You get shotgun!” she yelled out the rolled down window. You looked in the backseat to see Tyler sitting back there. 

“Hey thanks, Ty,” you chuckled. 

“We’re listening to Tyler’s music that he has been working on! This one is called Blasphemy!” she turned up the radio. The song was good. Sad. But good. 

The barn wasn’t too far away, and as you all walked up, your body was filled with the sound of the bass. You started to sweat with nerves, but you took a deep breath and headed in. 


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1521  
> Warnings: Underage drinking, partying, and language.  
> Author’s note: I’m really happy that so many people enjoyed the first chapter and are excited for this series! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Finally, a familiar face ;)   
> Also! Kudos and comments are always appreciated :))

“Y/N!” you whipped around to see your friend Becca running over to you. “Let me get you a drink!”

“Thanks,” you mumbled shyly. You followed her to the kitchen and she handed you a red solo cup filled with a mixture of vodka and fruit punch. They called it jungle juice. “I like your outfit.”

“Thanks!” She smiled cheerfully. She was wearing a denim skirt with a sparkly red tank top.

Becca disappeared once you grabbed the drink, so you decided to go find Mariah. There was a lot of people at the party and a lot of unfamiliar faces. Your social anxiety wanted to come out, but you tried to make it disappear by taking longer and bigger sips. You eventually decided to just stand off to the side and people watch.

“It’s a party, go dance!” You looked over at the source of the voice. It was this taller guy. He was gorgeous. He had this short wavy brown hair that was a little longer on top, and his skin was covered in small little freckles. You could barely see them unless you looked closely. He had small little black gauges in his ears and had this smile that made his eyes crinkle in the corners.

“I-uh,” you stuttered.

“I’m Josh,” he held out his hand. “I’m Tyler’s friend and welcome to my barn!”

You shook his hand, still unable to form words. You could feel that your face was turning red, and you wanted to slither out of there and disappear forever.

“This is a really cool party,” you finally got the guts to say.

“Thanks! I always throw a graduation party for the suburbs, it’s kind of a tradition around here,” he smiled again, making your knees go weak. You had never had a guy, or a girl, have this effect on you.

“That’s so cool! I’m Mariah’s friend, she’s dating Tyler.” You immediately regretted saying that. Obviously, he knows who Mariah is.

“Nice. Your drink is empty, do you want me to fill it?”

“Sure.”

As you followed him to the kitchen you saw a very drunk Mariah running up to you.

“I see you met Josh! He’s soooo rad,” her words slurred out of her voice.

“Yeah!” you laughed as she almost tripped, causing Tyler to catch her.

“Hey, guys!” Becca called into the kitchen, “We are playing a game of spin the bottle! Come play and don’t be a little bitch.”

“I don’t know-” you started to say but Mariah placed her hand on your mouth.

“Live a little, Y/N!” She grabbed your hand and dragged you into the room where they were playing while Josh and Tyler followed behind.

The alcohol was starting to get you, making your tummy feel warm and your vision go blurry. You weren’t even sure if you were slurring your speech or not.

The first couple turns were with people you had no idea who they were. Then the bottle landed on Becca. You watched her get all nervous, and start biting her nails. She always did that when she was nervous. She spun the bottle and followed it  with her eyes until it landed on this older boy that was there.

You didn’t want to watch Becca kiss this older boy, but you couldn’t look away. The kiss was long, and you could see the saliva from their mouths as they pulled away.

“That was hot,” you heard some guy say. People’s voices started to not match up with their mouths, and the room began to spin even more.

“Oh shit! Y/N, it landed on you!” Mariah’s voice startled you, and you stared at the glass bottle that was pointing at you. You grabbed it and gave it a spin. It landed a couple people to your left, and you followed where it was pointing to lock eyes with Josh.

You haven’t had your first kiss, and you really didn’t want this to be your first kiss. You hesitated but Josh stood up and walked over to you. He grabbed your face and placed his lips on yours. His breath smelled like beer, and his lips were soft. You could feel your heart start to flutter after Josh pulled away from the peck.

“That was your first kiss!! Holy shit!!” Mariah screamed. You gave her a dirty look for her revealing that was your first kiss. You wanted to hide and disappear, and you ran out quickly with the sound of laughter filling the room behind you.

As you stood up you could feel the alcohol start to rise up your throat, and you knew you needed to find a toilet. Quick. You made it just in time, spilling your guts into the toilet. You started to hyperventilate as you realized how little control you have over your body.

You wanted to go home.

Now.

You picked up your phone and clicked on Johnny’s number, even though your vision was blurry. He picked up instantly.

“You need me to come to get you?”

“Yes please.”

“You sound so drunk. Just wait outside, and send me the address.”

“Okay.” You heard the phone call ended. You didn’t know the address. You left the bathroom and you opened the door to see Mariah waiting to go in.

“Hey Y/N, you okay?”

“I threw up, I’m having Johnny pick me up.”

“Oh okay.”

“I need the address.” you handed her your phone and you watched her type it into your phone and send it. You grabbed your phone back and stumbled towards the front door. You could see out of the corner of your eye Becca making out with the same guy from earlier. You also saw Josh playing darts with some of his other guy friends.

You watched his arm muscles flex every time he got ready to throw the dart. You were mesmerized with how his eyes look when he smiled and laughed. They squinted but they also sparkled. You loved his soft voice and warm hands. You thought about the kiss. It was only a peck, but it was still a kiss.

A kiss.

The honking from a car woke you up from your daydreaming. You shuffled over to your brother’s car and hopped into the front seat. You could tell Johnny was staring at you as if he was expecting a rundown of everything that happened.

“Stop staring at me,” you mumbled.

“You smell like beer and vodka.”

“I didn’t have a beer.”

“Then how are you so plastered?”

“Jungle juice.”

“Ah, the teenager's favorite drink.”

He didn’t talk much on the way home, he just listened to his music and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. You stared out the window and thought more of the kiss.

The kiss.

“Mom and dad are awake still, this might be difficult getting you upstairs.”

You rubbed your temples to try to get the dizziness to stop.

“I feel like I’m going to puke again.”

“You’re going to feel even worse tomorrow, I promise,” he chuckled.

“Not funny.”

“C’mon lets go.” Johnny got out of his car and walked over to your door. He opened it and picked you up to help get you out. He placed you on your feet but you were unable to stand up straight.

“Sick,” you whispered.

“What?”

“Si-” before you could finish your sentence you projectile vomited all over your brother's jeans and shoes.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N.”

“Don’t be mad.”

“Fuck, there’s mom.”

You looked up and you saw your mom standing in the front doorway. She had her arms crossed and her foot tapping. Typical angry mom. Johnny grabbed your arm and placed it around his shoulder, helping you walk. You wanted to avoid eye contact with your mom, but you could feel her eyes burning into you.

“Are you drunk?”

“No.” You lied.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Yes.”

Your mom sighed. That was a sign that she was disappointed in you, which is almost worse than making your mom angry.

“Can I go to bed, I don’t feel good,” you whined. You could tell Johnny also wanted to go get cleaned up.

“Fine, but we will have a talk tomorrow morning. You’re grounded, for a week.”

“Mom! It’s summer.”

“Should have thought about that.”

You looked up at Johnny for help, knowing that he drank when he was a teenager but he kept quiet. He probably would have helped if you didn’t vomit all over him.

Johnny guided you upstairs and into your bedroom.

“Can you get dressed on your own or do you need help with that too?”

“I can do it. I’m sorry I threw up on you.”

“It’s okay.”

“Thank you for picking me up tonight, I love you, big bro.”

“Of course, I love you too little sis. Now go to sleep.” He left your room and shut your door. You got changed into pajamas and tucked yourself in. You stared up at the ceiling, replaying all the events that happened tonight involving Josh.

You had never felt that way for a stranger before.

What was it about him?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1990
> 
> Warnings: Talk of porn, alcohol, underage drug usage and language
> 
> Author’s note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! It made me giggle when rereading it! Also, music played a huge role when writing this series so I am going to do song suggestions to listen to while reading the chapter! At the very end of the series I am going to make a huge playlist of all the songs but I don’t want to accidentally spoil anything with a song…if that is even possible. Oh well, enjoy chapter 3 :)
> 
> Song suggestion: Red Red Wine by UB40 & LDN by Lily Allen
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always greatly appreciated!! :)

 

You flickered your eyes open to see your little sister staring at you. The light in the room immediately killed your head, and you slammed a pillow on top of your face groaning into it.

“I heard you got drunk, and vomited all over Johnny.” 

“Yep, that all happened. God my head is fucking kill me.”

“You’re not supposed to say fuck in front of me.”

“You just said it though, Bri.” You peeked underneath your pillow and she was still staring at you. 

“Did you have your first kiss? Did you have sex?” she asked eagerly.

“Bri, if I had sex I wouldn’t be home right now.”

“Okay, so no sex. Did you kiss anyone?”

“Sort of,” you rubbed your eyes and sat up. “We played spin the bottle and I had to kiss this really attractive guy, but it was just a peck.”

“There we go! One day you will finally tongue dance with someone, don’t worry.”

“Tongue dancing? That sounds disgusting.” You threw your sheets off of you and started to get up. 

“I can’t believe you got drunk though, I want to drink.”

“No. No you don’t. It sucks.” You held your head again as a sharp pain shot through it. 

“Mom and Dad are really mad.”

“I know, I’m grounded.”

“Why did you come home then? If I were you I would have just stayed at Mariah’s.” She had a point, but you knew that Johnny also told you to call him in case you wanted to go home.

“I hate that you have more street smarts than me.”

She shrugged, “What can I say.”

Bri finally left your room, and you started to get dress. You knew you had to go downstairs and confront your parents sooner or later.

On your way downstairs you ran into Johnny. He just glared at you, and then started to chuckle to himself as he headed back to his room. 

“Goodmorning,” you mumbled to your mom who was sitting in her chair drinking a cup of coffee. 

“How are you feeling?” She looked up from the book she was reading and started to analyze you.

“I’m fine,” you lied. The last thing you were going to do was explain to her that you were severely hungover. “How long am I grounded for?”

“I talked to your dad and we decided to not ground you, but you are going to have a curfew from now on. Be home by 11 every night.”

“11? Mom it’s summer! That’s so early.” 

“Would you rather be grounded and not able to do anything?”

“No. Thank you for not grounding me.”

“No problem. Next time don’t drink while you’re underage.” 

You wanted to argue with her and tell her how Johnny use to drink, and he has smoked pot, but it was no use to start another fight. You were happy that you weren’t grounded. 

You ate your breakfast silently, and a text from Mariah got your attention.

_ Want 2 go 2 the carnival w/ me 2night? _

“Hey mom, Mariah invited me to go to the carnival with her tonight. Can I go? I’ll be home by 11, I promise.”

“As long as you don’t break any more rules.”

“I won’t.” 

You texted mariah back. 

_ Yes! That sounds fun, can u pick me up? _

You finished your breakfast and headed upstairs to take a shower. It was already around noon since you slept in so much. Your shower was quick, and you braided your hair instead of letting it air dry. 

You still had a few couple hours before Mariah was going to pick you up so you decided to go write some poetry. You had been writing poetry for the past four years. It was like journaling for you, it helped you fight those internal battles. 

You sat on your bed and grabbed your poetry notebook, which was a leather book, and grabbed a red ballpoint pen. 

_ A kiss. _

_ Soft & Sweet. _

You looked out your window for inspiration but none was really coming to you. You looked down at what you had wrote, and laughed to yourself. It was four words but pretty much summed up last night. 

You wished that you had at least got his number. You knew you could probably ask Tyler for it, but you didn’t to be that girl.

You decided to head over to Jonny’s room and talk to him for a little. He always made you feel better when you were down.

His door was closed but you didn’t knock, instead you shoved the door open. He was sitting at his desk, and up on his computer screen was porn.

“Do you ever fucking knock?” He screamed as he quickly exited out of the tab and pulled up his pants.

“You shouldn’t watch porn, that’s gross.”

“You should learn how to knock. What do you want?”

“Sorry was I busy interrupting something? Should I leave?”

“Stop being annoying.”

You laughed at his annoyance, and threw yourself on his bed. 

“I’m bored and I wish I got this guys number from last night.” You flipped through a magazine that he had on his nightstand. It was about cars so you didn’t really understand it. 

“Who’s the guy?”

“His name was Josh, but I didn’t get his last name. He’s friends with Tyler.”

“Tyler Joseph? Like Mariah's boy toy?”

“Yep, that Tyler.”

“It’s probably Josh Dun. I know him from high school, he’s a total douchebag though.”

You didn’t want to believe your brother, he probably was thinking of another Josh. Josh was a pretty common name. 

“Do you want to play Mario Kart with me?” you asked him so you could keep your mind off of last night. Your brother agreed, and you spent the next hour or so beating your brother at the game.

“How are you so good at this game?” he asked you. You shrugged. 

“I’m going to go get ready for the carnival, Mariah will be here soon.” You headed back to your room to figure out what to wear. 

You thumbed through your closet until you decided on a pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top with a dark green cardigan. You took your hair out of your braid so it was now wavy. You applied some mascara and you called it good. 

You got a text from Mariah signaling that she was here so you headed downstairs. 

“Mariah’s here, I’ll be home before 11!” you kissed your mom on the way out. You could hear her yelling something behind you but you decided to ignore her. 

“Hey girl!” Mariah said as you opened the door and got in. 

“How are you feeling?” you asked. 

“I felt horrible this morning,” she laughed. “How about you?”

“I had the worst headache ever.” You laughed as well. 

You both jammed out to music all the way to the carnival. You found parking and got out. It was about a five minute walk from the parking lot to the carnival grounds. It was dirty and you instantly regretted wearing white shoes. 

“I see Becca and Grace!” Mariah said, pointing ahead. You saw your two friends standing there three other guys. 

“Hey Becca! Hey Grace!” you hugged each one.

“Hey Y/N, this is Theo, and this is his boyfriend Dylan!” 

“Hey nice to meet you two!” you shook their hands.

“And this is Mike, he’s Dylan’s cousin!”

“Hey Mike, I’m Y/N!” you shook his hand. 

“I found a good corner to go smoke, let’s go!” Theo said, grabbing Dylan’s hand and walking away. Becca, Grace and Mike followed them but you grabbed Mariah’s hand.

“I didn’t know we were smoking.”

“I didn’t know either, but who cares?” 

You both met up with them in this corner behind a bathroom building. Theo pulls out a small glass pipe that was translucent rainbow. He took out a little grinder with marijuana in it. He filled the hole, and took out a lighter that was also rainbow colored. He lit it and took a hit. 

You really hated the smell of weed so you decided to go on a walk. You told Mariah you were going to be right back, and you headed around the corner towards the games. 

You spotted one of those games where you threw balls at pins. You gave the attendant a dollar bill, and he handed you four balls. The first one you threw missed completely, and the second one barely grazed by one of the pins. You wounded up your arm, getting ready to throw the third ball before you were startled by a voice.

“I think you’re supposed to hit the pins.”

You turned around to see Josh, from the party last night, smiling at you. He was wearing a red shirt with black ripped jeans again. 

“Oh hey! If you think you could do better then be my guest,” you handed him the last two balls. 

“Watch this,” he gave you a little wink making your stomach start fluttering again. You watched him throw both balls hitting two pins down. You were shocked. 

“How did you do that?” 

“I’m a natural! Plus I’m a drummer so I have lots of arm strength,” he lifted his arm up to flex, making you smile like a dummy. 

The attendant handed Josh a little beanie baby for knocking two pins down. It was a little bear wearing a red dress. 

“Here you go,” he handed you the little bear.

“For me?”

“For you!”

“Why thank you!” You took it and started to look at it, trying to not smile like an idiot. 

“Want to go on a walk and talk?” Josh asked and you nodded. 

“What’s your full name?” 

“Joshua William Dun.” 

Shit. Johnny did know him.

“Dun? That’s a cool last name.”

“What’s your full name?”

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.”

“Y/L/N?”

“Yep!”

“Do you have a brother named Johnny?”

“Yeah, I do!” you said nervously. What if he didn't like him. You didn’t want your brother being a reason you and this handsome man don’t start talking. 

“Do you want to go on a ride?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I get sick easily,” you lied. You hated rides, you were especially terrified of carnival rides. 

“Oh c’mon, I’ll hold you so you feel safe.”

Wow. He was smooth, you had to admit. 

“Okay, Dun.”

“Okay, Y/L/N.” He smiled at you, making you smile in return. He walked you over to to this ride that goes really fast and round. Your heart started to race as you stood in line.

“Hey Josh, can I ask a question?” you broke the silence.

“Go for it.”

“How old are you?”

He laughed, “I’m 22, almost 23.”

“Wow, I’m only 18, but my 19th birthday is in September.”

“You look old for your age,” he looked at you up and down making you blush.

“I get that a lot.”

It was your guys turn to go on the ride, and your hands were sweating. You followed Josh to a seat of two. You buckled your seat belt, triple checking it was on right. 

The ride was intense, but it didn’t last that long. You tried not to scream, but when you saw Josh letting out tiny screams you decided to do it too. He kept on looking at you during the ride, even though you kept your eyes closed most of the time.

When the ride was over, you could barely walk. Your head was rushing and your breathing was short. 

“That was intense,” you whispered. 

“Yeah it was,” he smiled at you again. “Hey, can I get your number?”

“Yeah!” you took your phone out and handed it to him. He put his number in and named his contact ‘Dun’. 

“You know, Y/L/N, you’re gorgeous when you’re nervous,” he reached over and touched your shoulder, taking your breath away. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1840
> 
> Warnings: Rebellious teen activities
> 
> Author’s note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)
> 
> Song suggestions: Some Nights by Fun. and We are young by Fun.
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! :))

The next morning at breakfast was no different than any other, even though your parents would beg to differ. They interrogated you with questions while you looked at your phone and ate your Cheerios.

“You never smile at your phone this often,” your mom said.

“Yeah, what happened last night?” your dad added.

“Nothing happened? I’m being normal?” you lied.

They didn’t believe your lie, and you decided to just ignore them. You couldn’t help smiling every time Josh’s name flashed up on your phone.

“Can I be excused?” you asked once you finished your cereal.

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

You headed to the kitchen and washed your bowl out, and put it in the dishwasher. You ran back up to your bedroom and started to text Josh back.

We should hang tonight

You waited for his response eagerly. Once you heard your phone vibrate, you pounced and read it right away.

I’m totally down. Let me take you on a drive.

You smiled like an idiot to yourself as you read the message over and over. You really had never felt this way before, and what if he felt the same way too?

“Who are you texting?” your brother asked, barging into your room.

“Can you knock?”

“Excuse me? You fucking walked in on me watching porn. I think I get to barge in on you whenever I want.”

“Okay okay. I’m texting Josh.”

“Josh Dun?” His tone of voice gave you an anxious feeling, you really hated that your brother disapproved,

“Yes, he’s super nice. We’re hanging out again tonight.”

“He’s such a fucking douche.”

“You don’t even know him?”

“He went to my high school. I know him more than you do. He was that emo kid with the lip piercing. He’s weird.”

“Lip piercing?” The thought of Josh wearing a lip piercing made you giggle. “He’s different now though, John. He seems genuine and caring, and he’s attractive.”

You watched your brother roll his eyes.

“I don’t care if you disapprove, Johnny, I’m 18 and I can do whatever I want.”

“Y/N, it’s not that I disapprove, it’s that I don’t want my little sister getting hurt. He’s a bad influence.”

“Thanks, but I think I can handle myself, can you leave now?” you gave your brother a glare, showing him that he was no longer welcome in your room.

Your phone started buzzing in your pocket and you pulled it out to see Josh calling you. You pressed the answer button, and held the phone up to your ear.

“Hey, Dun!”

“Hey, Y/L/N! I was wondering if we could make it a late night drive? Tyler wanted to rehearse for a little tonight.”

“Like how late?”

“I could pick you up around 11:30?”

“I can’t Josh, I have a curfew.”

“C’mon, Y/L/N.”

“I don’t know.”

“You can sneak out, they will never know.”

You took a second to think about Josh’s offer. Sneaking out couldn’t be too hard, and you knew that you parents go to bed early usually.

“Okay, I think I can pull it off.”

“Perfect! I’ll be outside around 11:30, okay?”

“Okay.”

“See you later, Y/L/N.”

“You too, Dun.”

You hung up the phone and held it against your chest and you plopped down on your bed backwards. You breathed in heavily and started to figure out a good way to sneak out. You decided that you were going to be on your best behavior all day, and go to bed early.

Your window wasn’t that high up so you decided to try to sneak out of that. Getting home would be harder, but you knew you could convince Johnny to come open the door for you, hopefully.

The rest of the day was a blur. It was spent with you helping your dad clean the garage and organize all his tools, as well as vacuuming the downstairs. Your mom was gone all day for work, which was good for you since she would have picked up on how you were helping out.

Your dad cooked spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. Bri, Johnny and you all sat around the dinner table playing two truths and lie. A family tradition during dinner.

You were starting to feel nervous and dinner was coming to a close. You had never snuck out before, and you knew that if your parents found out,  your whole summer would probably be ruined.

You tried to reassure yourself by thinking of only positive outcomes, but occasionally the negative thought would come sneaking back in.

“You okay, Y/N?” you dad asked. “You’re spacing out pretty hard.”

“No I’m fine, just really tired. I think I’m going to go to bed pretty early tonight.” You tried to avoid eye contact with your family members as you headed to the kitchen to wash your dishes.

“Do you wanna wash my plate for me?” Bri handed you her plate, looking up at you with her big green eyes.

You sighed, “Sure.” You washed her plate as well. You looked at the kitchen clock, and it read 6:45. Only five more hours until you had to sneak out.  

You spent those last five hours by hanging out with Bri and helping her record a youtube video of her doing her makeup. By the time it was around 11:15 you said goodnight to your dad and your mom, who had just gotten home.

You sat in your room, waiting for the text from Josh saying that he was on his way. You decided to wear jeans and a queen sweatshirt that you Dad had given you last year. It was a sweatshirt he got from a concert he went to when he was younger.

You nibbled on your nails as the time grew closer and closer. You jumped a little when your phone vibrated and lit up with a text from Josh.

On my way!

You took a deep breath and stood up from your bed. You opened your bedroom window slowly, trying to make as little sound as you could. You had to pry off the screen part, which was easier than you were expecting.

You looked out at the tilted rooftop, and your heart started to beat faster as you noticed how far the grass actually was. You slowly put your left foot out on the planks of wood and tried to stable yourself before putting your second foot out.

Once you had both feet, you squatted and held onto the roof with your hands. You did a little shuffle down to the gutter, and you stared at the ground that was probably a good 8 feet away.

You sat on the gutter with your feet dangling off, and you threw yourself off hoping you would land on your feet. You hit the grass with a thud, and you could feel a sharp pain shoot up your left shin bone.

“Ow fu-” you stopped yourself before you cried out. The last thing you wanted was to wake up your family and them coming out and finding you.

You grabbed your shin and started to roll around the grass to distract yourself from screaming out in pain. The pain started to subside, and you stood up and started walking over to Josh’s jeep that was parked in front of your house.

“That was quite the show,” he chuckled as you hopped in.

“You saw all that?”

“I watched you climb out of your window and then chuck yourself off the roof, yeah, I saw it all,” he started laughing which made you burst out in laughter too.

“Where are we going?”

“Just sit back and relax!”

You were nervous. “Okay.”

“Do you trust me, Y/L/N?”

“Yes, Dun, I trust you.”

“Good.”

Josh started to drive away, and once he got onto the highway, he rolled down the window and blasted the music. He was playing the new Fun. album, some nights and you couldn’t help but to sing along.

“You’re a good singer,” he smiled over at you. You could feel your cheeks get hot.

“Sing with me.”

Josh looked over at you with this look in his eyes, and he shook his head. “I don’t sing.”

“I doubt that, Dun. You’re in a band.”

“I play drums, Tyler does the singing.”

You shrugged. The wind from the windows blew your hair around as he drove about 90 down the highway. Usually, you would feel scared, but you had never felt safer when you were with him.

You watched Josh’s hand turn down the music and he looked over at you. You both just smiled at each other and then giggling from the silent eye contact.

“I want to know more about you, Y/L/N. I know you just graduated, but tell me more about you.”

“Okay, well I have an older brother, who you know, and a little sister. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, I have three younger siblings. One brother and two sisters.”

“Nice, what about your drumming situation. How long have you been doing that for?”

He sighed, “I’ve been playing drums ever since I was little, but I started playing with Tyler’s band earlier this year.”

“That’s so cool! I’ve heard some of his music, it seems really cool.”

“Yeah, the band is called Twenty One Pilots.”

“Twenty One Pilots? But there’s only two of you.”

He shrugged, “Ask Tyler. I didn’t get to choose the band name!”

This made you laugh, “Any more questions for me?”

“Yeah, what do you do for fun? Like what are your hobbies?”

“Oh,” you thought about it for a while before deciding on what to say. “I like to write poetry, but I’m really interested in psychology. I’m going to community college starting in the fall.”

“Poetry? That’s really cool! Could I read it sometime?”

“Maybe.” You gave him a smirk.

“It’s already one in the morning, I should probably get you home!”

“True.”

Josh started driving back home, turning the music back up. We Are Young by Fun. was blasting and you started to sing along. You didn’t care what Josh thought of your singing, and at that moment you felt like you were invincible.

Josh took his right hand off his wheel and placed it on your hand that was on your lap. It took you by surprise, and you looked over at Josh who was still focused on the road. You allowed him to intertwine his fingers with yours, and you held his hand the rest of the way home.

He pulled up to the driveway and he let go of your hand. You immediately missed the warmth. You didn’t want to sneak back inside; you wanted to spend the rest of the night with Josh.

“Wish me luck, Dun,” you joked as you hopped out of his truck.

“Wait, Y/L/N, I think I’m really starting to like you.”

“You know what, Dun? I think I’m really starting to like you too.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5
> 
> Word count: 2019
> 
> Warnings: Language, angst, talk of some inappropriate things (sex but like..shhh)
> 
> Author’s note: I loved writing this chapter, and I hope you enjoy it too!!
> 
> Song suggestions: ‘39 by Queen and You’re My Best Friend by Queen
> 
> Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated

 

You couldn’t keep the dorky smile off your face while Josh drove away in his Jeep. You pulled out your phone and dialed your brother’s number and he answered after about four rings and you could tell you had just woken him up.

“What do you want?” he answered in a groggy voice.

“John, I need you to come unlock the front door.”

“What do you mean, why?”

“I’m outside so please just come open the door and try not to wake Mom or Dad.” 

You heard your phone beeping signaling that he ended the phone call and it only took a few minutes before you heard the front door unlocking and opening. Johnny was standing there wearing just a pair of black sweatpants and his hair looking like a mess.

“Thank you so much,” you whispered but he just looked at you with wide eyes. 

“Welcome home, Y/N.” You mom was standing right behind Johnny as you walked inside the house.

Fuck. 

“Mom, I can explain.”

“I don’t want to hear it, did you really think you could sneak out?”

“Mom, I-”

“I don’t know what has gotten into you but you are being completely disrespectful of your Father and I!” she started to scream. 

“I’m going to go to bed,” Jonny mumbled and he shuffled up the stairs. You took a step towards your brother to follow him up the stairs but your mom quickly hopped in front of you, halting you. 

“Next time you shouldn’t leave your window wide open,” she said with a sarcastic tone. 

“What?”

“When the window is open it makes your door bang even when it’s closed, and so I went in to check on you, and you weren’t there. Kind of obvious, Y/N.”

The window. The fucking window. 

“Mom, I’m so sorry.”

“Where were you? With a boy?”

“I was on a drive with a friend.”

“I can’t believe you!” Your mom’s raised voice made a lump form in your throat. The excitement and contentment from the night was quickly swallowed with anger and regret.

“You’re grounded, for real this time. A week.”

“A week? Mom that’s bullshit”

“You want two weeks?”

“No,” you grumbled. 

“Get your ass upstairs. Now.” Your mom stood with one hand on her hip and the other pointing upstairs. You stomped upstairs, cursing under your breath. 

It wasn’t fair. You can’t even enjoy life and you’re eighteen. You were an adult but that didn’t stop your mom from being territorial. 

You stripped out of your outfit and threw on pajamas and hopped in bed. Your eyes were stinging from the holding back of tears that so desperately wanted to come out. Finally you gave in. 

The sobs came fast, and soon you could barely breathe in between the tears. You grabbed your phone and pulled Josh’s number up. You started to compose a text.

_ I’m grounded. I’m sorry. _

He responded back almost immediately. 

_ It’s my fault, i’m the one that should be apologizing. Im sorry.  _

You decided to stop texting him and just try to go to sleep. You weren’t sure how you were feeling. Your body was buzzing from Josh pretty much admitting he had feelings for you, and at the same you were hurt and angry that you were grounded. 

 

You woke up the next morning around nine, and your mom was downstairs blasting Queen on the record player you guys had. You knew that she wanted to wake you up on purpose. 

You got up out of bed and threw on a pair of running shorts and a blue sweatshirt. You stumbled down the hall to see your mom and Bri dancing in the living room.

“Good morning!” Bri ran over to you and grabbed your hands to try to dance.

“I’m not in the mood, Bri.”

“Why? Because you’re grounded?”

“Exactly,” you chuckled, giving a dirty look to your mom when she wasn’t looking. This made Bri giggle.

“What’s so funny?” your mom asked. 

“Nothing!” you and Bri singsonged in unison. You walked over to the pantry and poured yourself a bowl of cereal, and Bri did the same. 

“I want to hear about last night!” she whispered, and you nodded.

“Later.”

You both sat down and started to eat your breakfast, and soon after Johnny came down and joined you guys.

“Good morning Johnny!” Bri scooted her chair over to give room for him.

He kissed the top of her head, “Goodmorning, baby sis.”

“Where’s my goodmorning?” you asked.

“I don’t like you right now so you don’t get a goodmorning.”

You threw your napkin at his face, “Fuck off.”

“Hey, language!” Bri giggled.

“She woke me up at like one in the morning!” Johnny complained but you just rolled your eyes. 

“I wouldn’t have had to sneak out if mom didn’t give me a curfew,” you tried to argue but you could tell by Johnny’s look that your mom who was behind you was not very happy. 

“I can always extend your grounding, Y/N,” she spoke in a stern voice.

“No, I think I’m good!” you shoveled the rest of the cereal in your mouth and went to put it in the dishwasher. You didn’t even say bye to your family before you hurried back up to your room to work on homework.

You had only been in your room for about five minutes before Bri came barging in. 

“Johnny was being a dick to you,” she spoke.

“Bri, you’re not supposed to say dick.”

“Why? I’ve sucked one so I should be allowed to say it.”

You groaned, “Don’t remind me of your sexual encounters when you’re only fourteen.”

“Hey, don’t judge!”

“I’m not, remember? No judgements.” You reminded her of the promise you both made when you were little. You promised her that you would never judge anything she told you, and that she should feel safe to tell you anything. 

“I know, anyways, spill what happened last night!”

“Nothing really happened, Bri. Josh picked me up and we went on a drive. He did say he likes me.”

You watched Bri’s eyes light up. “You mean you are going to date him??”

“I mean, I hope so!”

“I’m so happy for you!” she ran up and wrapped her arms around your waist.

“Thanks for being the only supportive one around here, Bri. I love you, baby sis,” you whispered before giving her a kiss on the top of her head. 

Bri left you and you decided to work more on your poetry instead of studying. You titled this one ‘Drive’, but you were having writer’s block on how to start it. Suddenly, your phone started vibrating from a call from Mariah.

“Hey, Mar, what’s up?” you answered.

“I miss you! Can I come over?”

“Um, I’m grounded so let me ask.”

“Why are you grounded?”

“I snuck out to go on a drive with Josh.”

“Holy shit, Y/N! Anyways, text me when you find out if I can come over.”

“Will do!” you hung up and headed downstairs to find your mom. She was busy in the kitchen doing meal prep for the next week. 

“Hey Mom, Mariah wanted to know if she could come over today.” You knew your mom loved Mariah, so you were sure she would say yes.

“I suppose.”

“Thanks Mom!” you headed back upstairs to text Mariah. 

_ My Mom said yes! See you in a little.  _

It only took about a half hour for Mariah to show up. Your mom did some catching up with her before you two finally snuck up to your bedroom.

“So, tell me more about last night!” she insisted.

“Well, Josh asked to go on a late night drive and I decided to sneak out. I jumped off my roof,” you chuckled.

“Nice, nice, and?”

“And we listened to music and just got to know each other more!”

“So no more kissing?”

“Nope.”

Mariah sighed. “Well, Tyler and I are on a break right now.” Her eyes got this sad look in them. You walked over to her and wrapped your arm around her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, not wanting to force her to talk if she didn’t want to. 

“Yeah, it’s just that I wanted to, you know, have sex and he said he wanted to wait and I guess I got angry and he said he wanted a break.”

“You scared him off, didn’t you?” you tried to make a joke out of the situation, knowing it always made Mariah feel better. “Well you guys have taken breaks before, and I’m sure if you just let him think stuff through, it will be okay.”

“I guess, it’s just he said he loved me a while ago and I thought he wanted to take it to the next step.”

“Did he give any reason of why he wanted to wait?”

“Not really, but I’m guessing his religious parents have something to do with it.”

You gave her shoulder another squeeze to try to make her feel better, “Mariah, you deserve happiness and I truly believe Tyler made you happy. Try talking to him later this week.”

“Okay thank you, Y/N. The thing is I don’t want to lose him, and I would wait forever to have sex with him as long as it means I won’t ever have to lose him.” She started to cry. 

“Mariah don’t cry, please. It will be okay!” you handed her a tissue, and she wiped her tears away. 

“I needed some good girl time,” she whispered between sobs.

“Me too, me fucking too,” you both laughed. 

“I also had something to ask you,” Mariah said as she stood from your bed and walked over to your closet. 

“Yes?” you asked suspiciously.

“There’s a party tomorrow night, and I was thinking you could invite Josh!”

“Mar, I’m grounded. Remember?”

“But Y/N, hear me out, your family loves me! Just tell them you are having a sleepover at my house and I’m sure they will believe you!”

“I guess that could work.”

“Here, follow me!” She wiped her nose and made sure she looked presentable before grabbing your hand and pulling you downstairs to your mom and dad who were sitting in the living room watching the news. 

“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N, I know Y/N is grounded but could she come over to my house tomorrow night for a sleepover? I just got a new game for the Wii and I wanted to have a girl’s night over there!” She put on this facade and flashed her white teeth. Your parents were buying every part of it.

“That sounds fun! I suppose she can go as long as you both stay at your house!” your mom said. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Y/L/N!” she went over and gave your mom a tight hug and she winked at you from over her shoulder. 

“Thanks mom,” you kind of mumbled. Mariah grabbed your hand again and pulled you all the way back up to your room.

“See? I told you I could get them to say yes! I’m gonna head home now, but come over tomorrow around 3 and we can get ready together!” she said before getting her stuff and heading out. That was one thing you loved about Mariah, she was unpredictable and always found a way for things to happen. You were a little perplexed how she went from crying, to laughing to leaving all in the span of an hour but you decided to not question it.

You were excited about the party, and especially about the thought of Josh being there as well. You wondered if Tyler was going to be there, and if him and Mariah would get back together.

You grabbed your phone and sent a text to Josh.

_ Hey Dun, want to go to a party tomorrow night? _

He responded back immediately.

_ Hey Y/L/N! How did you manage that? I would love to! _

Hopefully tomorrow's party would end up being much better than the last party you were at. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Josh x reader  
> Word count: 1994  
> Warnings: Language, talk of sex, underage drinking and partying  
> Author’s note: Woo! Chapter 6!! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it’s starting to spice up :) (next week is HOT)  
> Song suggestions: Dopamine by BORNS (pre-party) and Party Rock Anthem by LFMFAO (party)

  
  


Right at three, you arrived at Mariah’s house to get ready. You had a bag with you that was your “sleepover bag” you used to distract your parents from what you were really doing. 

“What are you wearing tonight?” you asked Mariah once you got in her room. 

“I need tits out tonight so i’m thinking of this v neck blouse I have with jean shorts and heels!”

“That will be pretty! I just brought a black tank top and skinny jeans and heels.” You wanted to be comfortable, plus the black tank top was flowy, and made your boobs look really good. 

“I love that tank top though! I bet josh will like it too,” she made a face at you when she added that last part. You threw the pillow that was sitting on her bed at her.

“Mariah! We haven’t even kissed again!”

“Tonight’s the night, baby girl!” she gave a little spin with her arms up and she ended it with giving you a hip bump.

“Josh said that he is going to take a cab there because he wants to drink,” you started to say.

“Oh before I forget!” Mariah interrupted, “Tyler will be there tonight and I really want to get back together so I might need your help at some point.”

“Sure, I can try!” you shrugged. You wanted Mariah and Tyler to get back together but you really didn’t want to be distracted from Josh. 

“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you about something?” Mariah got serious, which made you start to stress.

“Yeah?”

“Are you afraid to lose your virginity?” She stared at you in the eyes, and even though you were never the one to talk about this stuff, you felt safe around Mariah. She had been your best friend for the past six years.

“Honestly yeah, I’m worried i’m going to bleed.”

“Me too, and what if I’m not good at it,” Mariah layed down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, 

“I’m not sure if a person can be bad at it, it’s just people’s preference.”

“True.”

“How much have you and Tyler done?” you asked. You heard her take a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“I mean we do oral, and stuff,” she mumbled. “But anytime I try to actually stick it in me-”

“Ew,” you interrupted.

“He says no!”

“Well at least you are being respectful and consensual.”

“But what if the reason he doesn’t want to have sex with me is because I’m not good enough or something.”

“Mariah, you’re overthinking it. You don’t need to rush into things anyways. Just talk to him tonight!” you reassured her. She finally calmed down. 

Hours passed without you two knowing, and before you knew it, it was time to go to the party. You messed with your tank top, making sure your cleavage wasn’t too much, and was finishing strapping on your heels. 

The heels weren’t too tall, but it accentuated your legs and made you feel taller in general. Mariah looked gorgeous like always, you were jealous of her tan skin and her curly brown hair. 

“We look hot,” she chuckled, looking at both of you in the mirror. 

“Hell yeah we do!” You gave her a high five. 

“Ready to head out? Tyler said he would pick us up in like five minutes.”

“Ready as I’ll ever be!” You were excited for the night, and the thought of how you were lying to your parents made you even more giddy about the whole deal. 

Once Tyler got to Mariah’s house, you could tell that they were going to get back together. You watched Tyler’s eyes light up and his lips curl up into a smile when he first got a good look at Mariah.

“You girls ready?” Tyler asked and both of you nodded. You sat in the back while Mariah took shotgun, and you could tell that she wanted to hold his hand by the way she kept on accidentally brushing it. 

“Have you heard from Josh at all?” Mariah asked Tyler, smirking back at you.

“About what exactly?”

“About Y/N!” 

“Oh, I mean he has mentioned her a little bit,” you could see Tyler’s eyes look at you through his rear view mirror.

“What did he say?” you asked.

“Oh, not much.”

You decided to not push Tyler, and that you were better off not knowing. It’s not like you and Josh were dating, it’s just that you two had feelings for eachother. But how strong were his feelings? Because your feelings were really fucking strong. 

You arrived at the party, and followed Mariah and Tyler in. There were lots of people there that you recognized from the grade above you, and you weren’t really sure if you would enjoy yourself.

“Y/L/N!” 

You turned around to find Josh headed towards you, with a beer already in his hand. He was wearing a white tank with black jeans. You never realized how muscular his shoulders were until tonight. 

“Hey Dun! Fancy seeing you here,” you joked as he pulled you in for a hug. The feeling of his arm around your waist made your stomach start to flutter. 

“You want a drink?” he asks, pointing his beer bottle to you and you nod. Josh grabbed your hand and made you follow him. His hand was warm and you could feel his calloused fingers scrape against yours.

“Thank you!” you say as Josh handed you a red solo cup. You stared at the purple liquid sloshing around. “What’s in it?”

“I believe grape juice and vanilla smirnoff.”

You took a sip and immediately start to cough, “Wow that’s strong.” You could feel your eyes watering. 

“You’re crying!” Josh announced as he placed his hand on your cheek and wiped away your tear with his thumb. Your heart was racing, and you wanted to kiss him right then and there. 

“Hey lovebirds,” Mariah entered the kitchen already holding a beer, “You want to go against Tyler and I in a game of beer pong.” 

“I’ve never played,” you admitted shyly. 

“Don’t worry, I’m a natural!” Josh clapped his hands together and chugged the rest of his beer. 

“Oh it’s on like donkey kong,” Tyler ran to the table lined up with two triangles of red solo cups that were each filled with beer. 

You hated the flavor of beer, and this whole scenario made you nervous. Mariah went first, she threw the small, white ping pong ball and it bounced off a cup and onto the floor.

“You were close!” you exclaimed, smiling that you didn’t have to drink. Tyler threw next, the ball landing perfectly in the front cup. 

“I’ll drink this one!” Josh grabbed the cup and chugged it down in one gulp. He placed the cup to the side, and handed you the ping pong ball. You dipped it in the water to rinse it off and threw it. It bounced off the top cup and landed in the one behind it. 

“Yes!” you jumped up and down while Josh held both is hands up for a double high five. Josh threw his ball, landing in the one right next to yours. You both watched Mariah and Tyler drink their two cups. 

“Mariah needs to drink the rest, I have to drive us home later!” Tyler said, putting the now empty cup to the side.

The game went by pretty fast, and involved you drinking almost all the beer because Josh didn’t feel like it. In the end, you and Josh ended up winning and Mariah was even more drunk than you were. 

“Holy shit you won,” she slurred, stumbling over to you and wrapping her around your shoulder. 

You giggled, “I only won because of Josh!” You gave him a little wink, making him smirk. 

“Tyler follow me,” Mariah grabbed his hand and pulled him to the other side of the room. You turned back to Josh, not knowing what to do now. 

“Want to do dance?” He asked.

Usually you would have said no but the alcohol in your system was saying yes. You nodded and held Josh’s hand and followed him to the living room. There was rainbow lights dancing everywhere, making it even harder to see through your blurry vision. 

Music played, but that bad music that was on the radio like LMFAO and Cobra Starship. You watched Josh start to move his body to the music, making you giggle and seeing this funny side of him. 

You followed his moves, making sure to not trip over your own feet. You ended up failing, and you went flying first into Josh’s body. He caught you, and both of you were laughing, 

“Here, hold on to me,” he whispered as he started to sway your body side to side. You smiled up at him shyly, as you could feel his hand move down to your lower back. 

“Am I blushing?” you asked, noticing the familiar feeling of hotness in your cheeks.

“I wouldn’t be able to tell because of how drunk you are anyways, Y/L/N.” 

“I’m not that drunk,” you tried to argue.

“Okay sure.”

“Hey Josh! We’re doing stick and pokes, do you or your little friend there want to do one?” this older girl said.\, you believed her name was Hayley. Josh looked down at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Let’s do it!” you giggled. You went into this bedroom to find a small circle of people sitting on a bed.

“Do you want a stick and poke?” this girl with short red hair asked you, and you nodded. 

“Y/N, you’re really drunk, are you sure?” Josh asked you, and you nodded one more time. 

“Okay what would you like?” the girl asked. You thought about it for a second before deciding on a simple heart on your left wrist. You told her, and she started to give you one. 

This was the moment when the alcohol hit you the hardest, causing you to blackout. You didn’t feel any of the pain, and once the tattoo was finished you couldn’t stop showing Josh the tattoo.

“Dun, I have a tattoo!” you shoved your wrist in his face.

“You’ve showed me about five times now,” he chuckled. 

“You’re so handsome,” you giggled tracing your finger around Josh’s bare shoulder. “Don’t tell Josh though!”

“Do you know where Mariah and Tyler are? I think it’s time you head home!” he whispered into your ear. You looked at him confusingly, realizing you haven’t seen Mariah in a couple hours. 

“Call Tyler,” you slurred. You watched Josh whip his phone out and dial Tyler’s number. He put it on speaker so you could hear too. 

“What do you want Josh? I’m kind of busy right now,” Tyler answered. 

“Where are you, man?”

“I’m at my apartment with Mariah, and we’re kind of busy.”

“What do you mean? You were supposed to take Y/N back to Mariah’s”

“Well, uh, Mariah is staying at my place tonight do I don’t really know what to tell you. Sorry man. I got to go though.” Tyler hung up the phone fast, and Josh just stared at you. You could feel tears forming in your eyes. 

“Mariah left?” you mumbled.

“Hey, it’s okay!” Josh whispered. He noticed how tired you both were so he decided to just take you back to his apartment. The alcohol had worn off on him, and he carried you to his jeep and drove back to his apartment.

You were passed out by the time you guys arrived, and he carried you all the way to his room. It was only on the first floor which was a good thing. He placed you in his bed, and wrapped a blanket around you. 

“Goodnight, Y/L/N,” he whispered. He turned off the light and headed to go sleep on the couch in his living room. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pairing: Josh Dun x reader  
> Word count: 1504  
> Warnings: Language, talk of sex, underage drinking, fight with parents, angst  
> Author’s note: Sorry this chapter is like all over the place but I promise next chapter is HOT. ;)  
> Song Suggestions: Broken by Jake Bugg

 

You woke up with an excruciating headache, and it took you awhile to register that you were not in your bed. You weren’t even in Mariah’s bed either. In fact, you didn’t recognize the bed or the room at all.

Your heart started to race, and you started to wonder if you were kidnapped or assaulted, or something like that. The clothes that you had slept in reeked of alcohol.

You tried to sit up but you yelped in pain as you hit your wrist. You looked down at this black and bloody heart on your wrist. Was this a tattoo? Did you get a fucking tattoo last night?

No matter how hard you tried to bring back the memories of the night, it didn’t work. The last thing you remember was playing beer pong with Mariah.

Mariah. Where was she? Why weren’t you with her?

You stumbled out of the bed, and opened the door of the bedroom. It opened to a tiny hallway, and you could hear the sound of a  tv coming from another room. You followed the noise around the corner until you saw Josh sitting on his couch eating a piece of toast. 

“Josh,” you said with relief. Your heart rate went down as you realized you weren’t kidnapped, but then instantly rose again as you realized you spent the night in his apartment.

“Hey you finally woke up!” he mumbled with a full mouth of bread. 

“What happened last night? Why am I not with Mariah?” 

Josh placed his toast on the coffee table and patted the couch next to him. You walked over and sat down, holding your head as pain shot through it again. 

“You got really drunk from beer pong, and then you got a stick and poke, called me handsome but told me not to tell Josh, and Mariah went home with Tyler so I decided to take you here.” 

“Oh my god,” you hid your face with embarrassment. 

“Yeah, you were pretty hammered.”

“Thank you for taking me here though, but, um,” you weren’t quite sure how to ask him if anything else happened last night but he could tell what you were trying to say.

“Nope, nothing happened. Not even a kiss, even though you tried to kiss me multiple times.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled down at you. You felt small. 

“And you didn’t kiss me back?”

“Nope! I know you haven’t had your first real kiss and I guessed you probably would have wanted to decide when it happens while you were sober.”

“Thank you, Josh. That means a lot,” you smiled. Josh nodded and gave your shoulder a little playful shove.

“Here’s your phone by the way, Mariah has been trying to call you all morning,” Josh pulls out your phone from his pocket. You grabbed it and started to scroll through the numerous text messages and missed calls. Your stomach dropped when you saw your moms contact. 

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Josh asked, looking over your shoulder at your phone.

“I guess Mariah’s mom called my mom because we didn’t come home last night, and now my mom knows that I went out.” you sighed. You were too hungover to deal with this. 

“Y/N, it’s okay!” Josh tried to reassure you but you ignored him. 

“I’m going to call Mariah real quick.” You found her contact and pressed the dial button and waited. She picked up fairly fast, and her voice sounded frantic.

“Dude, Y/N, I am so so sorry I left! My mom is pissed, and I guess she called yours too.”

“Yep. I know. I’m scared to go home.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you leave me anyways?” you demanded to know. 

“Oh, um, Tyler said he wanted to fuck so-”

“You’re telling me this is all because you wanted to lose your fucking virginity!?” you screamed, making Josh glance over at you. 

“Y/N listen, it didn't happen because he was too drunk and I didn’t want to take advantage of him.”

“He was too drunk? Didn’t he drive home?”

“No we ubered, his car is still at the place.”

“Oh my god, Mariah. I need to go.” You hung up before you could hear her response. You were fuming. 

“You okay?” Josh asked, looking at you with caring eyes. You shrugged, not knowing what to say. You wanted to cry from anger, and you also really did not want to go home. 

“Can you take me home now?” you asked him and he nodded. You didn’t even care about your bag that was left at Mariah’s, you decided you would go and get it later. 

You hopped into Josh’s jeep and stared out the window as he turned on the music and drummed on his steering wheel. No one was talking, and you tried to focus on anything but last night. 

“Can I ask you something?” Josh asked, breaking the silence.

“Go for it.”

“What are your true feelings for me?” 

You looked at him and took a deep breath, “I really like you Josh. You make me feel a way I have never felt before.”

You could see Josh’s fingers tense up around the steering wheel. 

“I don’t think we should follow through with those feelings,” he whispered. You felt like you were punched in the stomach. 

“What do you mean? I thought you liked me?”

“I do Y/N, it’s just I don’t want to hurt you.”

“What do you mean hurt me?”

“You aren’t like anyone I have ever dated before, you’re-”

“I’m what? Huh?” you interrupted him. 

“Innocent. You’re like this little girl and I’m just worried I’m going to hurt you.” He shook his head while he spoke. 

“Innocent? A little girl?” You were in disbelief of what you were hearing.

Josh pulled up to your driveway and you started to get out of the car but Josh grabbed a hold of your arm. 

“I still want to be your friend, Y/L/N.”

“I think it would be better if didn’t talk for a while,” you whispered tearing your arm away from him. Tears were already forming in your eyes, and you hopped out of your car and headed to your front door. 

You opened it and prepared yourself for what your parents had in store for you. It couldn’t be any worse than pretty much losing your best friend, and your crush in the span of 24 hours. 

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N,” your mom screamed as you walked inside the house. 

“I know what you’re going to say, and I’m sorry.”

“Look at you! You look like a slut, and are you hungover again?”

“It was Mariah’s idea.” You tried to avoid your mom's piercing eye contact by staring at your feet. 

“I don’t care! What’s that on your wrist?” Her hand shot down to your arm as she tried to grab for your wrist but you quickly snatch it behind your back, tears flowing out now. 

“It’s a tattoo. Okay? Happy? Sorry that I’m a fuck up and I’m not the perfect daughter you want!” you screamed at your mom, causing your dad to stand up and walk over to you.

“Don’t ever speak to your mother like that again,” he said with his face red with anger. 

“I’m 18, stop treating me like a fucking child!” you ran past them and headed straight to your room. Your head was spinning from the anger and pain, and all you wanted to do was explode. 

You threw yourself on your bed and bawled into your pillow, leaving black stains from mascara all over it. You wanted to throw up from the anxiety that was filling your stomach, and you wanted to punch the wall to distract yourself from everything going on. 

“Y/N? Can I come in?” you heard Bri ask from outside your door. You sighed, wiped your tears, and walked over to unlock the door. The moment she saw you she ran up and wrapped her arms around your body only making you cry all over again. 

“It’s just not fair,” you mumbled. 

“I may only be fourteen, but I know that it’s never fun getting in trouble.”

“Josh said he doesn’t want to date me and Mariah is being a bitch and my whole life is falling apart.”

“I’m sorry.” Bri’s arms held you tight and you could feel her breath on your arm.  
“This is the summer before I start college. My first summer of being an adult and i’m just grounded the entire time and pushing everyone that is important to me away.”

“You’ll never push me away, Y/N. Sisters and best friends for life,” she held out her middle finger for you to wrap yours around. It was your guys little handshake even though it wasn’t an actual handshake. 

“Thank you, Bri. Don’t ever fall in love, it fucking sucks,” you laughed in between your tears.

“I won’t,” she laughed too. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2307
> 
> Warnings: Language, some ~angst~ and some ~fluff~ :)
> 
> Author’s note: I loved writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
> 
> Song suggestions: Juliet by Cavetown & Northern Lightd by Death Cab for Cutie

 

It has been about a week since you have spoken to Josh. You had a long talk with Mariah the other day, and figured stuff out with her but your parents said you aren’t allowed to hang out with her alone until you were ungrounded.

The conversation went easier than you expected, mostly because Mariah actually listened to you for once instead of getting defensive. She apologized for what she did, and promised to never let Tyler get in the way of their friendship again. Mariah also gave you some advice about Josh, especially since you haven’t been able to get him off of your mind.

Being grounded in the summer was not fun, and the past week was spent with you helping around the house and doing chores for your family, which Johnny and Bri took advantage of. You never got any free time, and they never gave you a break. Plus, all you heard about was the raise that Johnny had gotten at his job.

A job. This was also the only thing your parents would talk to you about. They brought it up any time they could, then would remind you of how “lazy” you were. You finally ended up applying to an ice cream shop in your neighborhood, and you had the interview today. 

“How do I look?” you asked your mom spinning around to show her the outfit. It was a black polo shirt and khakis. You wanted to look professional, and this was the outfit your mom chose. You hated it. 

“Professional! Remember to make eye contact, and don’t slouch!” 

“I know, Mom.”

“Goodluck, sweetie!” she tried to kiss your forehead but you swerved out of the way. You haven't let your mom or dad touch you since you came home a week ago. You still haven’t forgiven them for grounding you during the summer when you were an adult, even if you did kind of deserve it.

You hopped into your car and headed to the ice cream shop. You turned on your local radio and they were interviewing a local band. The voice caught your attention, so you turned it up. 

“Yeah, we have just been rehearsing like crazy getting ready for the state fair later this summer!”

It was Tyler’s voice. 

“It will be like my fourth performance with the band so i’m excited!”

That was Josh’s voice. 

Your stomach started to twist and turn at the sound of his voice, and you wanted to throw up. You turned off the radio and tried to regain control of your breathing. The last thing you wanted was to be shaken up before your interview.

You found parking in front of the ice cream shop, and you headed in. 

“Hi, I’m here for an interview?” you told the young girl who was on the register.

“Oh yeah! Let me go get my manager!” You watched her run to the back and come back out with a women who looked about 35. She seemed nice.

“Hi I’m Taylor!” she shook your hand. 

“Hi, I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you!”

She took you to the back room where she asked you questions about yourself, and other questions they usually asked at an interview. You felt pretty good about it all.

“I would love to offer you a job here!” She said at the end.

“Really? I would love that!” you said excitedly.

“Yes! You seem like you would make a great addition to our team! Could you start this friday?” 

“Yes!” You shook her hand and thanked her once again before heading home. You were excited that you finally had .a job so you could escape the never ending chores from your family.

You drove a little fast back to your house, and you ran inside to tell your family the news.

“I got the job!” you announced.

“I’m so proud of you!” your Mom and Dad said at the same time, coming towards you to hug you but you started to head upstairs before they could. You could see the hurt in your Mom’s eyes but you tried to brush it aside.

You headed to Jonny’s room to tell him the news, and this time you knocked on his door. 

“Come in.”

“I got the job at the ice cream parlour!”

“Nice! Way to go, Y/N!” he gave you a high five. 

“Where’s Bri?” you wondered.

“I just dropped her off at a guys house.”

You raised your eyebrow at him, “Are you serious? Our fourteen year old sister gets to go to a guys house and I get grounded for being an adult.”

“To be fair you were underage drinking,” he pointed out.

“But you did it too!”

“Yeah, but I was just smarter than you at hiding it! “

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. 

“You’re bi, why don’t you go date a girl instead of some douche?”

“Because I haven’t found any girls that are worthy for this,” you joked making your brother make gagging noises. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” 

“Because I have better things to do than focus on love.”

“But you’re 21, I feel like you should start dating.”

“At least i’m not a virgin!” 

“Fuck off, Johnny!” You flipped him off and started to head out his door.

“Hey I was just messing with you, do you want to play Mario Kart again? I’m bored,” he offered.

You sighed, “Sure, but you better get ready to get your ass beat.”

 

Today was your first day of your new job, and you were filled with nerves and excitement. You had put on your outfit, which included a bright yellow t shirt that said “Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream” on it with pink bubble letters. You got to wear jeans which you were happy about. 

You threw your hair up into a ponytail, and you headed downstairs to say goodbye to your family. Bri was downstairs watching a movie with your Dad, while your mom was in the kitchen doing more meal prep.

“You ready for your first day?” she asked, smiling.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you shrugged.

“Do you know what time you will get off?” 

“I don’t, but I’ll keep you updated. I heard that the coworker’s usually hang afterwards on Friday, and I really think I should go since it’s my first day. I want to make a good first impression.”

“Hmm, I suppose. How late would it be?”

“Probably around midnight but they’re coworkers, Mom. I promise I won’t do anything dumb.”

You grabbed your keys and headed to your car. Your hands were sweating the entire way their, and when you pulled into a parking spot you decided to give yourself a little pep talk to yourself through your rear view mirror.

“Listen here Y/N. You got this. You are smart and everyone has to have their first day and be trained. You got this!” You gave yourself a high fived and headed in. 

The manager was there and introduced you to a boy, his name was Ethan, and he was going to be the one who was training you. He was very flamboyant, and he wanted to know everything about you when there weren’t any customers. 

He taught you how to use the cash register, and how to scoop the ice cream ad make the different specials. It wasn’t as difficult as you were expecting and Ethan made it much easier. He was funny, and you enjoyed working with him. 

“I guess I should let you know I’m gay incase you fall in love with me,” he joked. 

“I couldn’t tell, and I’m gay too. Well, partially. I’m bi.”

“Whoa, we’re queer ice cream scoopers!” he held up his gloved hand for a high five. You laughed at the sound it made when it hit your hand which was also gloved. 

“Y/L/N?” you turned around at the familiar voice calling out your name. 

There he was. 

Josh dun and Tyler joseph. 

“Hey Tyler! Josh.” You waved to Tyler and glared at Josh. 

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Tyler spoke as he looked through the ice cream flavors. Josh kept his gaze on you, and you couldn’t look away either. His warm chocolate eyes were pulling you in again. You noticed that there was color peeking underneath his t shirt.

“Did you get a tattoo?” you asked him. He nodded and pulled up his sleeve to reveal that his shoulder was covered in a bright orange galaxy, surrounded by a deep blue. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was a space-scape; Josh had never been one for hiding his fascination with the universe. . 

“Do you like it? I’m going to get a tree added on my forearm later this week!” he announced 

“Yeah it looks really cool, but look we’re closing soon so can you hurry and order,” you joked. 

“I want chocolate,” Tyler announced.

“That’s it?”

“Yep, just good ol’ plain chocolate!” Ethan made him his ice cream while you rung him up, giving him the employee discount even though you shouldn’t have. 

“Do you want anything?” Ethan asked Josh, and he shook his head no. He kept on looking at you, and his gaze was different than usual but you couldn’t place why.

You watched the boys leave, waving to them goodbye. It was finally time for closing, and Ethan showed you how to clean. 

“Is it usually only two of us closing?” you wondered.

“Usually on friday’s it’s more but we were slow last year so they didn’t give us much hours this year.”

“So no coworker hang out?”

“Nope, not tonight. Don’t sound too disappointed,” he joked. 

It was around 10:15 when you guys finally closed. You watched Ethan lock the door and you said goodbye to him as he headed to his car. You started to walk to your car which was parked across the street, when you noticed a figure standing next to the passenger door.

“Josh?” 

“Hey, Y/L/N,” he smiled. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked confused as to where Tyler was, and if he waited here for you to get off. 

“Y/N, I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind. I’m sorry for everything I said that day,” he rubbed his arm as he spoke. His voice was soft, and you could tell he was being genuine.

“Good thing I haven’t been able to get you off my mind either,” you chuckled.

“Can I show you something?” Josh asked, grabbing your hand which sent sparks up your arm.

“Sure.”

“Here, get in my car.” He walked you over to his Jeep that was parked not very far away from yours. You didn’t bother asking where he was taking you, and you just sat back and waited. 

It was only about a six minute drive, and he pulled up on this gravel road. He got out, and came over to open your door. He grabbed your hand again, and led you down to a little entrance to a lake.

The view was breathtaking. There was a full moon tonight, and it was being perfectly reflected onto the bluish tinted water. You could hear the crickets chirping, and coyotes howling in the background. It was an eerie and mysterious feeling being out here, but Josh held your hand.

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered.

“Like you.”

You looked up at him and you couldn’t help but to smile at his words. He looked handsome with the cool moonlight surrounding his face. 

“I dare you to jump in the water,” you chuckled.

“No way, I’ll only do it if you do it!”

“Okay,” you shrugged. You started to take off your shirt.

“Wait, you’re serious?” he looked at you with mesmerization. 

“I’m just trying to prove to you that I’m not so innocent as you think,” you winked and you threw your shirt at him. You slipped off your jeans and shoes leaving you standing there in your bra and panties. 

“Y/N” Josh yelled your name but you were already running and jumping off the dock into the cold water. It was shocking and refreshing. You rose to the surface and spotted Josh who was now stripping his clothes as well. He stood there in just his boxers and you watched him jump in after you.

“It’s freezing!” his teeth chattered as he floated to the top. His curly hair was plastered to his forehead, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You swam over to Josh and placed your hand on his shoulders.

“You just kicked my foot,” you announced.

“I’m trying to not drown here, Y/L/N. It’s hard to tread water when you’re holding on to me!” 

“Sorry, I don’t want to drown either!” you both were laughing, and swimming around. You were floating on your back, and Josh just watched you swim. You stopped for a little and threaded back to where Josh was holding on to the dock. You looked into his brown eyes that resembled earthy hues. You were lost, and you never wanted to be found.

“Y/L/N, I think I’m falling in love with you,” Josh whispered.

“Kiss me,” you blurted. Josh didn’t hesitate and before you knew it he was grabbing your cheek and pulling you close to him. You could feel his soft lips press against yours, and you could feel his tongue peeking through. You welcomed it in with a smile, and Josh continued to kiss you passionately.

You pulled away, out of breath from the kiss. It was everything you had dreamed.

“”How was that for your first real kiss?” he smirked.

“The best it could have ever been,” you planted another kiss on his lips as the moonlight lit up the water around you two.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2503
> 
> Warnings: sexual situations (smut) & language
> 
> Author’s note: Enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Song suggestions: I don’t have any song suggestions for this week! If you want to listen to something, I suggest something cute and intimate :)

 

It has been a week since your first kiss with Josh, and you couldn’t escape the questions from your parents of why you were so happy and smiling all the time. You also somehow convinced your parents to unground you as well. It involved a lot of errand running, and sucking up, and you asking them when they both were tipsy might have helped as well. Either way, being ungrounded made going on dates with Josh way easier.

It wasn’t like you guys were secretly dating, it was only a secret from your parents. You remember the night after your first kiss you got home, and your parent’s asked how your first day of work was, and you told them that nothing special happened. Immediately after that, you headed up to your sister’s room to tell her all about Josh and your first kiss.

Bri was so excited for you, and she could barely keep herself contained at the thought that you finally had your true first kiss. You wanted to tell Johnny as well, but you didn’t want his judgment for who the kiss was with.

So far Josh has surprised you at work almost every single day with either lunch, flowers, or just a kiss. You never experienced a guy going out of their way to make sure you are happy, and it was something you wanted to cherish forever.

When Josh wasn’t with you, he was either working at a drum tech shop or rehearsing with Tyler. Mariah was busy with work too, she got a nanny job for a family down the street from her so you didn’t see her that much except for at night. Surprisingly, you two haven’t gone on that many double dates. Yet.

*      *      *

“You ready for our picnic?” you asked Josh as you picked him up from his apartment. He nodded and held up a picnic basket that he was carrying which was filled with sandwiches and fruit that he prepared for you guys’ lunch date. It was a really nice day in Ohio, and you both wanted to take advantage of it.

You drove him to the highest mountain in Ohio, called Mount Jeez. It was about an hour away, but it had the nicest lookout and you wanted this date to be perfect. The sun was shining into your Kia Forte, and even with the windows down, you were sweating. The entire way there you blasted Awolnation, which was one of Josh’s favorite bands. You blurted out the lyrics as Josh was drumming on the dash.

“I think I should replace Tyler,” you joked.

“Honestly, I think I’ll mention it to him!”

Your body filled with happiness every time you heard Josh’s laugh. You got goosebumps every time Josh would lean over and give you a kiss or hold your hand. He would rub his thumb in small circles on the top of your hand, and even though it was such a small action it made you felt safe and loved.

“We’re here!” you exclaimed, pulling into a spot on the dirt road. The view was absolutely breathtaking. It was more of a hill than a mountain but at the very top of the viewpoint looks down on the top of the tree foliage. The green shined in the sun, and the sound of birds chirping filled the air. It smelled like freshly cut grass and lavender.

“I bet it looks so pretty here in the fall,” Josh spoke as he grabbed the basket and blanket from the car. You helped him set out the blanket, and distribute the lunch.

“Thank you for making this!” you grinned as you took a bite into your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “It’s delicious!”

“You have a little jelly on your lip,” he chuckled. He leaned over and kissed it off of you, making you blush.

“You have a little something on you too,” you joked as you pulled his face into yours. You kissed him aggressively, and Josh pulled you on top of him. The kiss lasted longer than you were used too, and you ended up pulling away from Josh quickly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. He sat up as you pulled your knees close into your body.

“We’re out in the open!” you said nervously.

Josh brushed your hair out of your face, “We could go back to my place after this.”

“Okay.” You bit your lip as you started to overthink. “Wait, Josh, can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, of course, anything.”

“I’m bisexual, I guess I forgot to mention that.”

“Y/N, I don’t care,” he kind of chuckled. “That doesn’t matter to me. You’re Y/N, and Y/N is amazing and gorgeous.”

You blushed, flipping onto your back, with your head laying on his lap so you could stare up at his eyes. You loved the way his eyes creased when he would grin.

“Thank you, Josh, also, this is really embarrassing but I’m really not ready to have sex yet,”

“Who said anything about having sex?”

“Well you said you wanted to go back to your apartment after this, and you really think I couldn’t feel your bo-”

“Okay, Y/N, that’s not what I meant,” he interrupted before you could finish your sentence. “We’ve only been dating for like a week, I’m not going to rush anything. I want to take it slow with you. You’re worth it.”

“Thank you, Josh, thank you for being so understanding.”

“Of course! Now I have a question for you,” his tone got a little bit more serious.

“Yeah?”

“Well, the night we had our kiss I told you I was falling in love with you, and you didn’t say anything back,” he rubbed his arm again.

“Josh, it’s not that I don’t. It’s just I have never been in love before so I don’t want to say it without not knowing what it means. I don’t want to throw the word around.”

“I understand.”

“Plus, I think I’m falling in love with you too.”

“You think?” he smirked.

“Don’t push it, Dun!” you softly shoved his shoulder making you both burst into a fit of laughter. You finished your lunch and then started to drive back to Josh’s apartment.

Once you arrived, Josh picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his torso. He kissed you all the way up to his bedroom, and he placed you down on his bed softly, still kissing you.

“What an entrance,” you giggled as he kissed your neck.

“Will you let me know if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable?” Josh asked, looking into your eyes. You nodded as that familiar feeling of nerves filled your tummy.

Josh’s calloused fingers brushed the hem of your t-shirt and he slowly tugged it up as if he was asking for permission. You helped him slide it off so you ended up sitting there just in your bra. You knew he wanted to take it off, but you could also tell he was nervous about making you uncomfortable, so you decided to be the one to take it off. Heat rose in your cheeks as you could feel Josh’s gaze.

“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N,” he whispered as he trailed his thumb up and down your chest. His hands took your breath away, and you started to tense up at the thought that no one has ever seen you like this, let alone touch you like this.

“You’re so handsome, Josh,” you smirked, leaning in for another kiss. This time it was you who tugged on his shirt and he threw it off. His new tattoo sparkled on his shoulder, and you were careful to not touch the raw skin.

You kissed his neck, making him lean back and moan. The nerves went okay and got replaced with pleasure as you noticed how good you were making Josh feel.

“Can I touch you?” Josh whispered into your ear. You didn’t respond right away, feeling embarrassed. The more Josh kissed you though, the more you wanted it.

“Go ahead,” you told him.

“You sure?”

You nodded, “I’m sure, Josh.” You looked down and watch as Josh placed his hands on the inside of your thigh. You were wearing a skirt, and you gasped as you could feel his hands touch you.

“Are you sure this is okay?” he asked.

You nodded with pleasure. It felt good, and you weren’t really expecting that someone could make you feel this good. Your mind started to wander as to how you could make Josh feel good too. You sat up and Josh looked at you with confusion.

“Can I?” you nodded to his bulge.

“Yes,” he grabbed your face with his two hands giving you one last kiss before you got to your knees. You weren’t really sure what to do since you had never done this before and have only had watched porn like a few times.

You started to unbuckle his pants and pulled them down to reveal his red underwear. You were nervous, and you couldn’t help yourself from smiling like an idiot.

“I don’t know what to do next,” you confessed.

“I’ll help,” he said as he pulled his boxers down. You couldn’t help from bursting out into laughter, but quickly covering your mouth.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh,” you said placing your hand around him.

“You’re making this very interesting, Y/L/N,” he chuckled.

“Does this even feel good?” you asked.

“Yeah, it feels really good.”

His reassurance was all you needed to forget about all the nerves you had. You really wished you had asked Bri on how to successfully give a blowjob, but also that would have been embarrassing to ask your fourteen-year-old sister for sex advice.

You placed your mouth around him, making sure you didn’t accidentally gag. It must have taken Josh by surprise because you heard him gasp as you went deeper. You continued stroking him, and you got into it once Josh held your head.

Even though you were scared to do this, he had this way of making you feel safe and comfortable. You looked up at him and grinned at his face of pleasure. He had his head leaning back, and one hand was on his hip while the other was holding your hair.

“Y/N, I’m going to cum,” he panted. “Where do you want me to finish?” he asked, making eye contact with you. You honestly had no idea, so you just kept on doing what you were doing, knowing that he was almost to the point of climax.

Right before he came, he pulled out and grabbed himself to finish. He caught it all in his other hand, and you just sat there watching it all happen. You were caught off guard by the whole thing happening, and you looked at the pool of semen in his hand.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you would want me to finish in your mouth,” he said as he grabbed a tissue to clean up. You could feel your face turning beet red.

“Did I do it right?” you asked as you put your clothes back on.

“Yes, you did it right. You’re really good at it for that being your first time,” he winked at you making you hide your face in your hands again.

“That’s good I guess.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t make you climax.”

“It’s okay, I think I had enough new experiences for today,” you laughed. Josh got dressed and came and laid next to you on his bed. You played with his hair as he explained some of the new songs he and Tyler were working on.

“Regional at Best? That’s a cool album name!” you told him.

“Yeah, I’m excited I never have recorded an album before.” His tone got quieter, and you could tell something was off.

“You okay, Josh?”

“Yep.” You knew that he wasn’t telling the truth, but you decided to not push him. If he didn’t want to talk about, then you couldn’t force him.

“I should probably get heading home, but I’ll see you tomorrow right?” you asked him and he nodded.

“I wish you could spend the night here.”

“I know Josh, but my parents.”

“When are we going to tell your parents about us?” he seemed upset.

“I’m not sure Josh, but I know right now would be a good idea.” you kissed his lips to try to reassure him.

You headed back home, and you tried to not act too different in front of your parents. Your sister was the first person that noticed that something was up.

“What’s going on?” she asked, walking into your bedroom.

“I gave him a blowjob!” you whispered excitedly.

“You sucked his dick!?” she screamed.

“Shh! Yes, but don’t scream it! It’s a secret that we’re dating, remember?”

“Oh right, but omg that’s exciting!” she clapped her hands. “Did he eat you out?”

“Ew, no”

“Why not??”

“Because I didn’t want to, he did touch me though. It felt better than I was expecting.”

“You really need to masturbate more often so you could realize what you are missing out on.”

“Bri, that’s not something I want to talk about!”

“I thought we talked about everything?” she stuck her lower lip out and pretended as if she was going to cry.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” you ruffled her hair.

“Girls, come downstairs please!” you heard your mom yell up the stairs. You looked at your sister and rolled your eyes.

“What do you want?” you said jokingly.

“So you know how Bri wanted to go to VidCon right? Well, it’s this weekend so we are taking her to LA for the weekend!”

“What!?” Bri started to scream and run around the house, almost running into Johnny who was walking down the stairs to see what all the noise was.

“That’s exciting! Why does this matter for me?” you asked.

“Because you and Jonny will have the house to yourselves for the weekend, and I want you to know that there are no parties allowed for either of you!” she said sternly.

“Yes, Mom.” You looked over at Johnny who rolled his eyes.

After the conversation was over you headed back up to your room, but Jonny called you into his room.

“We are totally going to throw a party,” he snickered.

“John, I swear to god if you get me grounded!”

“I will take full blame if they find out, but you can invite your friends too.”

“Can I invite Josh?” you asked. You could see by the look on his face he didn’t want him there, but he gave in.

“Sure, but I don’t want to walk in on you guys doing anything nasty!” he snapped.

“Don’t be dumb.” You headed back to your room and called Mariah to invite her to the party this weekend. She said she was totally down. You called Josh next, and he was also excited.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2369
> 
> Warnings: Underage drinking & smoking, language, angst, and some sexual scenes.
> 
> Author’s note: Don’t hate me, please :) Also for the song suggestions, I have like three songs that go well with three different sections but I don’t know how to make it like matchup because everyone has different reading paces but I’ll just put them and try to put when the “scenes” start, I guess? (sorry this is like a new thing for me lmao, I just want people to get the experience I get when I write them)
> 
> Song suggestions: *before the party*: All Time Low by Jon Bellion
> 
> *The party*: We Cant Stop by Miley Cyrus
> 
> *After truth or dare*: Ashes - part 2 by The Struts

“Do you have the alcohol?” you asked Johnny who was setting up the downstairs for the party. You were busy filling bowls up with different chips and snacks.

“I have the stuff to make jungle juice here, but my buddy Eric is bringing the beers,” he mumbled as he tried to hang up black lights.

“I can’t believe you actually bought black lights, that’s so extra.”

“I want this party to be sick!”

“It will be sick!” you mocked him, throwing a chip at him. His eyes glared down to where you were standing.

“What time will Josh be over?”

“I told you, he’s coming in like fifteen minutes.”

“But why? The party doesn’t start until nine tonight and it’s only seven.”

“Because I want to spend time with my boyfriend?” You shocked yourself by calling him that because it was the first time the word boyfriend had left your mouth.

“Speaking of him, I think he’s here early,” Johnny nodded to the knocking at the door. You headed over and opened it up to reveal a smiling Josh. He had a baseball cap on and his curly brown hair was poking out, and his tattoos contrasted with his white t-shirt.

“Hey, Y/L/N” he grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a long kiss.

“Hey to you too, Dun,” you smirked.

“Can you guys like not have sex in front of me?” Johnny joked, walking over to say hi to Josh.

“Johnny! We went to high school together, right?” Josh held his hand out for a handshake.

“The one and only,” your brother shook his hand way longer than he needed to.

“You want any help setting up?” Josh asked him.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Okay, then we are going to go upstairs,” you grabbed Josh’s hand and pulled him upstairs.

“Be safe,” your brother teased from downstairs.

“Ignore him, he’ll get used to you eventually,” you whispered to Josh. You showed him your bedroom, which wasn’t as clean as it could have been.

“You must really like poetry?” Josh looked at your bookcase full of poetry books.

“Yeah, whenever I get bored I just pick one up.”

“That’s really cool!” Josh sat next to you on your bed.

“You excited for the party tonight?” you asked him.

“I’m more excited that I get to spend the night here!” he kissed your forehead. Tonight would be your first sleepover with Josh.

“Yeah, but I plan on getting shit faced tonight so don’t try to start any funny business, Dun!” you pointed your finger at him, only causing Josh to chuckle.

“I would never take advantage of you, plus I plan on getting shit faced as well since I don’t have to drive home!”

“Good!” you leaned in and gave Josh a long kiss. You could feel Josh’s hand move from your waist down to your thigh. “What do you think you’re doing?” you whispered mid-kiss.

“Just testing the waters,” he joked, placing his hand back on your lower back. “Come here,” he grabbed your body and pulled you so you were straddling him.

“You’re so naughty,” you giggled as he kissed your neck.

“And you love it,” he whispered back in between kisses.

“I need help!” Johnny came barging into your room, making you accidentally knee Josh as you threw yourself off of him.

“Jonny, what the fuck!” you screamed at him and then moving your attention to Josh who was kneeling on the ground, holding himself.

“I think you broke my penis,” he cried out.

“Shit, sorry. Come downstairs when you fix his dick,” Johnny quickly shut the door and you could hear him run back downstairs.

“I’m so sorry, Josh! I didn’t mean to!” you tried to help him sit up but he still stayed laying on the ground in the fetal position.

“I was so hard and your knee hit it in just the right angle holy shit it hurts,” he cried out.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he grunted, sitting up and wiping his eyes which were watering.

“Maybe we should just go down and see what Johnny needs help with,” you suggested helping Josh stand up.

“I don’t know if I can look your brother in his face though.”

“He could have walked in on something much worse, don’t worry.”

You both walked downstairs to find Johnny struggling to set up the Bluetooth speaker he had also gotten for the party.

“If we can’t get it to work, we can just use the CD player,” you suggested.

“But I want this so I can play my iPod!”

“Here, let me see if I can try to help,” Josh offered, heading over and starting to mess with the chords. After a few minutes, the music started to play out of the speakers.

“Hey thanks, man!” Johnny gave him a high five. You were glad that they were starting to get along, especially after what had happened.

The next couple of hours were spent helping Johnny make the finishing touches on the decorations. You were surprised by how good it looked. He had the black lights set up, and music blasting. He made jello shots and had two different pitchers with two different kinds of jungle juice.

One was fruit punch with vodka, and the other was orange juice and vodka. There was also a lot of beer and wine coolers that his friends brought over. Slowly people started to arrive, and the house quickly became filled with the skunky scent of weed and the sound of excited voices.

“Mariah’s here!” you heard Josh announce as he brought you your second drink of the night.

“Mar! I haven’t seen you in like forever!” you squeezed her with your arms in a huge hug.

“There’s no way you are already tipsy, Y/N.”

You shrugged, “Blame Josh, he brought me this drink!” you giggled.

Josh raised his hands in defense, “She said she wanted to get shit faced!”

“Oh my goodness, Y/N.” Mariah rolled her eyes as she headed to the kitchen to get a drink. You then noticed that your other friends were here too, Becca and Grace. They also invited some other friends.

“There are more people here than I was expecting,” Johnny came up to you and whispered.

“And?”

“I don’t want to get the cops called on us!”

“Stop worrying so much and enjoy yourself!” you giggled chugging the rest of your drink. You headed over to the rest of your friends to see what they were up to.

“Do you have any drinking games, Y/N?” this girl you recognized from your high school asked.

“Not really, sorry guys.”

“That’s okay, we can just make our own game!” this other girl spoke.

“We should play truth or dare!” Mariah suggested. Everyone thought it was a good idea, and you were already too drunk to say no.

“Okay, I’ll go first, Y/N, truth or dare?” Mariah asked you.

“Um, truth!” you said shyly.

“Okay, what is your favorite part about Josh?”

You looked up at Josh who was smiling down at you, “Definitely his eyes when he smiles or the way the drums when he drives. He’s just caring and amazing.”

“Aw thanks,” Josh wrapped his arm around your shoulder, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“Gross, but cute,” Mariah joked. “Okay Y/N, your turn!”

“Okay, Josh, truth or dare?”

He wrinkled his nose as he thought hard about his decision, “Dare.”

“Okay, I dare you to go take three jello shots right now.”

“Easy!” He grabbed three of the jello shots, and you watched him plop each one in his mouth. Everyone turned and looked at him with their jaws dropped. It wouldn’t be long until those would hit him.

“Okay, Josh your turn!”

“Okay, Um, Mariah? Truth or dare!”

“Truth!”

“Okay, what’s your biggest secret?”

“Oh jeez, I don’t know? Maybe that I used to send nudes to the entire basketball team in high school?” she announced.

“Mariah,” you shoved your face into your hand, embarrassed by what she said.

“So now I see why Tyler was interested in you,” Josh slurred as the shots hit him fast.

“Okay, my turn!” Mariah exclaimed. You noticed that your cup was empty, so you ended up heading back to to the kitchen to refill it, and on the way, you got stopped by Jonny once again.

“How’s the party?” he asked, the smell of beer wafting off of his breath.

“It’s fine!”

“That’s good, can you make sure people don’t smoke in the living room?”

“Yep, sure thing,” you words slurred.

“You should maybe slow down on the drinks, lil sis,” he chuckled as he patted the top of your head. You rolled your eyes and stumbled back to the room where the game of truth or dare was happening.

“Hey what did I miss?” you asked practically skipping into the room with your freshly filled cup but what you saw made you halt. “What the fuck?” In front of you stood Josh’s mouth tongue dancing with another girl. His hands were dancing around her back and you couldn’t do anything but drop your cup all over you causing the juice to splash. The sound made Josh break from the kiss and look over to you in a panic, and he stumbled back almost falling over.

“Y/N, it’s just a dare!” Mariah announced but you shot her a dirty look.

“Y/N, wait.” Josh tried to grab your arm, but you pulled away from him, tears clouding your vision.

“What the fuck, Josh. Seriously, what the fuck?”

“Y/N it was a dare, please, it didn’t mean anything! Mariah dared the girl to make out with me.”

“I don’t give a fuck, Josh. You should have said no? Do I mean nothing to you?” you cried out, with your voice cracking at the end. The sound of you screaming made Johnny come over to see what was going on.

“What happened, Y/N?” he asked. Once he noticed you were crying he pulled you in for a hug and looked over to Josh with daggers. “What the hell did you do, Josh?”

“I didn’t-”

“He made out with some other chick,” you sobbed into your brother’s shirt. The alcohol and your emotions were not mixing well. Your head got shaky and the room started to spin again, signaling that you were about to be sick.

“Y/N, I said I’m sorry.”

“I want everyone to leave. I want Mariah to leave!” you screamed, running to the bathroom to throw up. Johnny hurried after you and held your hair up as you emptied the contents of your stomach.

“Y/N, are you okay? Do you want Josh to leave?”

You shook your head, “He’s drunk, I don’t want him driving.”

“Okay, I’ll go tell everyone else to leave.”

“No, don’t end your party. I just want Mariah and those girls to leave,” you tried to control your sobs but you couldn’t. Your brother held you until you felt ready to leave the bathroom. “I thought he loved me, how could he do this to me.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N, I’ll go tell them to leave,” he whispered. He opened the bathroom door to see Josh standing outside.

“Y/N,” he slurred. You walked past him, ignoring him.

“Mariah, I need you and your friends to leave. Now.” Johnny ordered them once he found them all huddled in the kitchen. You stayed close behind your brother avoiding eye contact with anyone.

“What?” Mariah tried to argue but Johnny walked over to the door that was attached to the kitchen and held it open for them. You stood off to the side and watched your so-called friends, and the other girls from your high school walk out, shaking their heads with frustration.

“Thank you, Jonny,” you sniffled. You could feel that Josh was still standing behind you but all you wanted to do was go lay down in bed. The room was still spinning, and you wanted to let out of the tears you were hiding inside.

“Of course, little sis. Do you want me to take you upstairs?” he asked and you nodded. He wrapped his arm around you and helped carry your drunk self up to your bedroom.

“Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs with my friends,” he said before closing your bedroom door. You got changed into pajamas and laid in your bed, allowing the sobs to come back violently.

You didn’t understand why he would do something like that. Why he would tell you that he was falling in love with you, just to go and make out with another girl. Not even a simple kiss, but a full-on makeout session. And in your house?

The image of his lips crashing down on the girls, and his hands dancing around her hips replayed in your head but you tried to think about anything else. You closed your eyes and started to count to maybe trick yourself into falling asleep but it was not working.

The sound of your door opening slowly made you snap your eyes open, but you didn’t have to sit up to know that it was Josh. You could tell by the sounds of his footsteps and how he walked. He was trying to be quiet.

“Y/N,” he whispered. You ignored him and pulled the covers more over your head. You felt the weight of his body lay next to you on your bed, and his hand started to play with your hair.

“You kissed her,” you softly sobbed.

“I know, and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

“Is this what you meant when you didn’t want to hurt me?” you turned over to stare Josh in his eyes. He must have noticed how red your eyes were from crying because his thumb went straight to your cheek to wipe your tears away.

“I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N. Please forgive me.”

“I can’t, at least, not right now,” you whispered. You turned back over and closed your eyes once again to try to fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1445
> 
> Warnings: Language and angst
> 
> Author’s note: I can’t believe it is already chapter 11 which means we are halfway done with this series :( I hope all of you are enjoying it!
> 
> Song suggestions: Memories Of Us and You’re Somebody Else by Flora Cash

You flipped over in your bed barely opening your eyes that were crusted with tears, dried mascara, and sleep. Your head was hurting, but not as bad as your past hangovers. You probably had cried out all of the alcohol.

The memories of the night came flooding back to you. Everything. The shots. Truth or dare. The kiss.

The kiss. That stupid fucking kiss.

And Mariah. You were mad. You wanted to slap her across the face, but she was also drunk, but was that even an excuse?

“It was just a game.” Her words echoed through your brain, but you tried to subside them. The last thing you wanted to replay the kiss over and over.

You finally noticed that Josh wasn’t in your room, even though you remember him falling asleep next to you. You grabbed your phone which was charging on your nightstand.

You had three text message from Josh.

Y/N call me when you get a chance.

I’m sorry for what I did.

I miss you please call me.

You locked your phone and threw it back on your bed. The last thing you were going to do was text him back. Ignoring him made you feel slightly better. You decided to go take a shower so you could wash away the memories of last night, or at least try.

You went to the door but it was locked, and you could hear the shower running inside.

“Johnny, hurry up! I want to take a shower!” you pounded on the door. You could hear the shower turn off and the sound of a towel wrapping around a body. The doorknob turned, and you were welcomed with a girl with short blond hair.

“Oh sorry, I thought Johnny was in here.” You quickly shuffled over to Johnny’s room, barging in without knocking.

“Do you ever knock?” Johnny stood there in his boxers, and you could see his chest was decorated with small round bruises.

“It seems like you had a good night,” you teased.

“Better than yours, that’s for sure,” he slipped on a pair of jeans and his t-shirt.

“Who’s the chick anyways? I ran into her while she was showering.”

“Her name is Bethany.”

“And you brought her home?” you joked.

“To be fair she was already in my house, I just brought her upstairs.”

“Player!” you pushed him, causing to trip over his shoe falling on the bed.

“Hey, c’ mon Y/N!” he laughed. “How are you, by the way?”

You shrugged, “I’m hurt, but also I feel bad for freaking out. It was just a game and everyone was really drunk.”

“Yeah, but Josh shouldn’t have made out with a girl.”

“It was a mistake.” You were surprised by how much you were defending him, especially after how much he hurt you. “I think I’m going to go see him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Look, Johnny, I’m really happy that you are being a protective older brother but I don’t need it. I can handle myself.”

“I know you can, and I trust you to take care of yourself. I love you, lil sis.”

“I love you too, big bro.” You reluctantly allowed him to give you a hug but you both were interrupted by a knock at the door. You both turn to see Bethany still standing there in her towel.

“The bathroom is free now,” she whispered.

“Thanks,” you said shyly. You maneuvered your way around her and back towards the shower.

You were finally able to take a shower now that it was unoccupied. You washed your hair and shaved your body. Maybe if you looked okay, you would feel better, but the anxiety in your stomach would not go away.

You decided that you really did need to talk to Josh. Once you got out of the shower you threw on a sweatshirt and shorts and headed out to your car. You wondered if you should call him and let him know you were coming, but at the same time, you wanted to just show up so he didn't’[t have time to prepare a stupid excuse or anything like that.

The car ride was quiet but once you arrived at his house you sat in your car for a solid five minutes before getting enough courage to walk up to his front door. You knocked a couple of times and waited for him to open the door.

“Y/N?” Josh opened the door, he was only wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and no shirt, which made you get distracted right away.

“Hi, um, can I talk to you?” you asked, knowing that he could tell you were blushing.

“Sure, do you need me to put a shirt on?” he chuckled.

Yep. He definitely knew what his shirtless torso was doing to you.

You bit your lip, “No, it’s fine. It’s a nice view.” Your comment made Josh smile, but it was quickly erased.

“Y/N, I want to apologize for last night. I know I can’t blame alcohol for my actions, but I seriously did not know what to do when she grabbed my face.”

“Josh, it’s okay. I forgive you. I was also really drunk, and the alcohol didn’t make the situation any better. I’m more pissed at Mariah and that chick than you.”

He sat down on his couch, and you took the spot next to him. You grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his.

“Thank you for giving me another chance, I’m so sorry.”

“Josh, please stop apologizing. Let’s just pretend it didn’t happen.”

He reached forward and rested a hand on either side of your face, rubbing his thumb slowly along your cheekbone, “Y/L/N. you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t ever want to lose you.” He stared into your eyes, and you couldn’t look away.

You wrapped your hand around his head and pulled it towards you so his lips came crashing down on yours. He pulled you on top of his lap so that you were sitting on top of him.

“Y/N, I want you,” he growled into your ear. Your stomach started to do the familiar butterfly feeling, but then anxiety came crawling back in.

“Josh, stop.” You threw your leg off his lap and stood up. You walked over to the window and stared out of it.

“Are you okay?” Josh continued to stay sitting on the couch, and you could feel his eyes staring at you.   
“I’m just not ready, I’m sorry,” you mumbled. You could hear the couch move as Josh stood up and made his way over to you.

“Y/N, it’s okay. Whenever you are ready, I’ll be ready too. I want your first time to be special,” he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Thank you, Dun. It’s going to take some time for me to be able to get over that kiss though, please just be patient” You turned around so that you were facing him. You looked up into his chocolate eyes and smiled.

“Of course, and I know you said no more apologizing but I truly am sorry.” His lips were turned up in an apologetic smile and you couldn’t help but sigh.

“I have to work in an hour but I’ll call you later, okay Dun?”

“Leaving already?” Josh pushed his lower lip out in a pout.

“Maybe if you didn’t kiss another girl I would stay,” you passively teased making Josh look at the ground. You kind of felt bad, but at the same time, you knew you were going to probably bring it up quite a bit over the next few months as you slowly got over it.

You left Josh’s and the entire way to work you were analyzing everything that just had happened. It all seemed like a rush. You were so heartbroken last night, and you were so sure you had lost one of the greatest things that had ever happened to you, but for some reason, this morning you had came to the realization that your guys’ relationship was more than just a dumb, drunk kiss.

Your guys’ relationship was worth fighting for. He was worth fighting for. He was worth all the tears. You wondered if you were too quick to forgive him, but for some reason, Josh had that impact on you. You felt complete when you were in his arms, and you knew that you made the right decision by forgiving him and allowing you two to work on your guys’ relationship and grow as a couple.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2461
> 
> Warnings: Language, fluff, needles & blood, a little angst, a brief mention of sexual activities
> 
> Author’s note: As I was editing this chapter I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time? I really hope you enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> Song suggestions: Stay Young, Go Dancing & Home is a Fire by Death Cab for Cutie

One thing you had learned this summer is that you forgive way too easily, and even though it might be one of your flaws, you are still putting your happiness first. This is all new to you, and without any guidance on how to correctly grow up, you are just trying to do the best you can.

You don’t care that Johnny has been on your butt the past three weeks after he learned that you and Josh have gotten back together. He doesn’t understand how you could forgive him and let him off so easily, and to be honest, you couldn’t really explain why either. It just felt the right thing to do.

It has been almost a month since the part, since the kiss, since you had forgiven him. A month full of secret dates with Josh and going to his rehearsals with Tyler. Your parents still do not know about you two, but that wasn’t at the top of your list to do this summer. In order to make sure your parents didn’t get too suspicious you would put extra effort into the home chores, and you had started to pick up more shifts at work.

Any free time you had gone to Josh. You didn’t complain. You had countless ice cream dates, as well as lake swimming dates and car ride dates, and your favorite, Mount Jeez picnic dates. He made you feel safe and special and cared for. Every kiss, every hug, every touch made you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

*     *     *

“What should we do today?” you asked Josh who was busy making strawberry lemonade in his apartment kitchen. You were staring at his tattooed arm as it stirred the pink liquid.

“I really want to get my nose pierced, do you want to come along?”

“A nose piercing? Like a hoop or a stud?”

“A hoop!” he smiled.

You tried to picture Josh with a hoop in his nose, and you decided that he probably would look really cute with it. It would match his tattoos, and his gauges, and his curly brown hair.

“I’m so down! Should I get my nose pierced too?” you raised your eyebrow challenging Josh.

“Hell yeah, Y/L/N!” He poured both of you a glass of the strawberry lemonade he just made. You took a sip and almost spat it back out.

“Jesus Josh, how much sugar did you put in this?”

Josh shrugged, “I wanted it to be sweet, like you.”

You rolled his eyes, “You got to be the cheesiest man in the world, you know that Dun?”

“What can I say?” he laughed. “Hey Y/N, have you talked to Mariah lately?”

You bit your lip, “No, I haven’t”

“Are you going to?”

“I don’t know if I want to be her friend anymore.” Josh must have sensed the shift in the tone of your voice because he wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you in close. You could hear Josh’s heartbeat as your ear rested against his t-shirt.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, planting a kiss on the top of your head. He always knew how to make you feel better.

“Thanks, Dun.”

“Onwards to the Jeep!” Josh raised his hand holding his keys and his glass of lemonade, and you followed behind him giggling the entire way still taking small sips of the sugary liquid.

“Your hair is long,” you said as you hopped into the passenger seat. Josh ruffled the top of his head with his hand, leaving a fluffy mess.

“I guess it is, yeah” he laughed. “I should dye it.”

“Dye it? Like what type of color?”

He shrugged, “I’ve always wanted to do an abnormal color like blue or pink!”

“Oh wow, you would look so good with blue hair,” you grinned while you pictured him with a cotton candy colored floof.

“Maybe I’ll do it one day.”

“One day,” you repeated as you grabbed Josh’s hand, intertwining your fingers. He rubbed the back of your hand with his calloused fingers, making you feel comforted.

“What do you feel like listening to? It’s about a 45-minute drive to the piercing parlor!”

“How about death cab for cutie?”

“You know me too well,” Josh squeezed your hand, peeking over at you. You grabbed the CD from the glovebox and played their newest album, Codes and Keys.

Josh immediately started to drum on the steering wheel while you belted out the lyrics, having your own little concert in the car. It was probably deafening, but at that moment you couldn’t have cared less.

“God you are so beautiful,” Josh yelled above the music, making you smile like an idiot.

“And you are so handsome,” you leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek, being careful not to distract him too much from the driving.

“Are you falling in love with me yet?” he asked. You sucked in your cheeks as you thought about it.

“I might be falling a little, but patience, Dun! The best comes to those who wait,” you said sitting back in your chair and kicking your legs up onto the dash.

“You are the most stubborn girl I have ever met.”

“And that’s why you fell in love with me, right?”

“Yes, Y/L/N, that’s exactly why,” he smiled, making his eyes crease up in the corners. Your heart melted a little.

The rest of the car ride was spent talking about how nervous you were for the nose piercing, and how excited Josh was for himself and you. He pulled into the parking lot and grabbed both of your hands.

“You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you shrugged. You let go of his hands and hopped out of the car and headed into the parlor.

You introduced yourself to the piercer as he started to get Josh prepped. You sat on this couch while he laid on his back on this table that looked like the thing you sit in at a doctor’s visit.

“Will it hurt?” Josh asked.

“I won’t lie, it hurts, but not as bad as you are probably expecting,” the piercer explained. You bit your lip from nerves and fumbled with your hands. You watched Josh’s nose get cleaned with iodine.

“Hold my hand, Y/L/N,” he stretched his arm out so that his hand was in reach of yours. You grabbed it, and you could tell Josh’s hands were sweaty. He was nervous.

“You got this, Dun,” you narrowed your eyes to give him that challenging look, something you always did before he was about to do something he was nervous to do.

“Okay, on three I want you to breathe in and out heavily,” the piercer explained. “One…two…three!” You cringed as you watched the needle go straight through Josh’s nose cartilage.

“Agh,” Josh mumbled under his breath as he clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut. He opened them right away after the needle was sticking through while the piercer went to get the jewelry.

“How was that?” you giggled. He looked funny with a needle stuck halfway in his nose.

“Not as bad as I was expecting!” he smiled. You smiled back, even though your stomach was being eaten up with nerves. What will your parents say?

You watched Josh get a small silver hoop put in his nose, and get all washed up. He stood up and headed over to the mirror, and you watched his face light up.

“This is sick!” he points to his nose, looking at you with his mouth wide open in a smile.

“You look hot,” you joked back. Now it was your turn.

You switched spots with Josh, so you were the one laying down and Josh was the one sitting. You stuck out your hand and Josh slapped his palm into yours.

“You got this,” he shook your hand a little before the piercer started to clean your nose. The smell of iodine burned your nose and made you want to sneeze but you kept it in.

“Okay, just like for Josh, breath in and out deeply on three!” The piercer explained, grabbing your nose. You could see the long, gray, needle out of your peripheral vision, and started to hyperventilate. You squeezed Josh’s hand.

“You got this!!” His voice was distant.

“One…two…three!” The needle was stuck through your nose and this sharp pain came but soon died into this burning soreness. You looked down and saw the needle sticking out of your nose.

“Holy shit,” you said groggily as the room started to spin. You laid your head back down and closed your eyes. It burned when the piercer put in the hoop, and it made your eyes water.

“Are you crying? Josh asked, trying to suppress a chuckle.

“No, I can’t control that my eyes water!” you defended yourself, even though nothing is wrong with crying while getting pierced.

“You’re all done!” the piercer exclaimed. You looked over at Josh who’s eyes lit up, and his mouth turned up into a smile.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. You stood up and headed over to the mirror to get a better look at your new face jewelry. You really liked it, and it made you look older and edgier.

“I love it!” you chirped, walking back over to Josh and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“You made my hand bleed,” Josh showed you the top of his palm. There were little red marks, four of them.

“Are those from my nails?” you asked, shocked at how hard you must have been holding his hand.

“Yeah, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he winked, causing you to shove him.

You both headed back to your car, both with brand new matching nose piercings. You couldn’t stop smiling, mostly because it hurt too much to move your face so it was easier to keep it in just one spot.

“You want to go get milkshakes?” Josh suggested.

“Is that even a question? Drive, Dun!” you ordered him, giggling the entire time.

“Okay, okay, Jesus, Y/L/N!” He stepped on the gas, and you both were on the way to the ice cream shop you work at. You sang more Death Cab for Cutie while he drummed. You started to notice that Josh was also singing along.

“Joshua Dun!?” you screamed. “You’re singing?”

Josh looked over at you, smiling but still singing the song, not missing a lyric.

“I thought you don’t sing?” you asked him.

“I feel comfortable enough around you to sing,” he blushed.

“But you’re really good! Sing more, please,” you batted your eyelashes at him.

“Only if I’m in the mood, okay?”

“Yes, sir!” you clapped your hands as you played the next song and started to harmonize with Josh.

“What flavor shake are you going to get?” you asked Josh, while he parked his car.

“I’m thinking mint chocolate, how about you?” He walked over to your door and opened it up, grabbing your hand and helping you down. “Here you go, m’lady.”

“Why thank you, sir,” you gave a little curtsey as Josh shut the door behind you. “I think I’m going to get a strawberry milkshake,” you skipped over to the door, holding it open for Josh.

“Y/N!” Ethan, your coworker, announced.

“I didn’t know you were working today!”

“Yep, what do you two want?”

“I’ll have a strawberry shake, and he’ll get a mint chocolate chip shake!” You smiled at Ethan, watching him scoop the balls of ice cream into the blender.

“Ugh, you guys are so cute!” Ethan explained, resting his chin in his hands looking at you and Josh.

“Thank’s E, how’s dating been?”

“Same old, same old. The gays around here are just terrible in bed!” He screamed over the loud blender.

“Alrighty then,” you chuckled. Ethan handed you and Josh your guys milkshakes. It was in one of those metal tins and had whip cream, sprinkles, and a cherry on both.

You and Josh headed out to the tables that were in front of the shop. You took a sip of your shake and audibly moaned from how good the shake was.

“I hope one day I can make you moan like that,” Josh whispered. “Ow!”

You kicked him in the shin underneath the table. “I swear to god, Dun, if you don’t stop the sexual innuendos I’m going to never have sex with you!” you pointed your finger at him.

“I’m sorry!” Josh raised his hands up in defense. “You are so beautiful when you get angry!”

“Josh! You’ve called me beautiful like twenty times today.”

“Is that a bad thing? I’m just reminding you of the truth.”

“You are such a romantic,” you rolled your eyes.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, sipping more of his shake. You both spent the next hour talking about what you two could do during the fall and winter. You both loved Halloween so you wanted to do a couples costume.

“I’m kind of nervous for college, even if it is a community college, but at least you’ll be here!”

Josh laughed nervously, “Yeah!”.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why?”

“It just seems like every time I bring up college you start to act weird.”

Josh started to rub his tattooed arm, “I’m just nervous for you too!”

“I’ll be okay!” you reassured him. “It’s getting late, do you think we could head home now?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Josh said in a different tone than usual, you knew that something was wrong, but he was not going to tell you. The car ride was quieter than usual. You didn’t sing along, and Josh didn’t drum, so just the music was being blared through the speakers.

Once you got back to his apartment you said your goodbyes and drove back home. You wondered how your family was going to react to your new piercing. You parked your car and headed into the house and your dad was the first person you saw.

“What in the name of God is that on your face!?” He yelled, throwing his newspaper down.

This was not going well.

“It’s just a nose piercing!”

“Take it out. Now!” your father demanded, his loud voice scaring you. You had never seen him this angry before. Your mom came running into the room.

“Y/N! Why?” she clapped her hand over her mouth.

“I’m 18, I get to decide what piercings I want no matter if you approve or not,” you headed upstairs leaving your parents downstairs. Once you got into the safe space of your bedroom you opened up your poetry and started to write a poem about the day you had today.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1691
> 
> Warnings: Language and angst
> 
> Author’s note: One of my favorite chapters… :) hope you enjoy.
> 
> Song suggestion: Lost On You by LP (start when they are at dinner for maximum effect)

“Mom’s mad at you,” Bri whispered while you helped her set up her camera.

“Thanks captain obvious,” you grunted. “I don’t understand why you need my help every single time you film a youtube video.”

“If you don’t want to help then you can just leave.”

“I want to help Bri, I just hate being at home.”

“I like your nose piercing, I think it’s cute,” she whispered.

“Thanks, Bri, I think I finished the camera, do you need anything else?” you asked. She shook her head no. You headed out of her room, closing the door while you could hear her do her youtube intro. You felt bad that you snapped at her, but you really didn’t want to be at home anymore.

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and saw that you had four text messages from Mariah.

_Y/N! Pls, txt me back! I miss u!_

_You there?_

_I’m sorry Y/N, I miss my BFF_

_Pls, txt me! I miss u!_

You rolled your eyes as you locked your phone, ignoring Mariah once again. You were done with her bullshit, just like you were done with your family’s bullshit. All you wanted to do was to be wrapped up in Josh’s arms and hear his calming voice.

You pulled your phone out again and dialed Josh’s number. He picked up after the first two rings.

“Waddup, Y/L/N!”

“Hey, Dun! I need to get out of the house, do you want to hang out?”

“Is that even a question? Of course!”

“Awesome! Can you come pick me up?”

“Yep, I’ll be there in ten!”

“Thank you Josh!” you hung up and went back to your bedroom to get dressed into a better outfit. You decided on denim shorts and a purple t-shirt.  You grabbed your purse and headed downstairs.

“Where are you going?” your mom asked you, not looking up from the tomato she was cutting.

“Hanging with Josh,” you mumbled.

“Josh?”

“Yeah, my boyfriend!” you ran out of the door before you could hear her response. You waited outside for a minute before Josh drove up in his Jeep.

“Hey pretty girl!” he smiled at you as you opened the door and hopped in.

“I accidentally told my mom that I have a boyfriend.”

“You have a boyfriend? Who is he?”

“Just a guy named Josh.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“He is,” you giggled.

“What do you want to do today?” Josh asked. You thought for a second.

“I don’t really care what we do during the day, but I was wondering if we could go stargazing tonight?”

“Stargazing?” he lifted his eyebrow.

“Yeah! I’ve always wanted to do that, it seems romantic.”

Josh laughed, “It sounds like fun, let’s do it!”

“What are we going to do until then?”

“Well let’s see, it’s four now and it takes about an hour to get there, so let’s go get dinner and then we drive to Mount Jeez!”

“What do you want for dinner?” you asked.

“Thai.”

You rolled your eyes, “You always want thai, Josh.”

“It’s yummy!” you both laughed. Josh started to drive towards your guys’ favorite Thai place, Erawan Thai. The car ride was just like every other, you both singing and Josh drumming. It never got old.

“We’re here!” Josh sang as he pulled into the parking lot.

“Good thing because I’m starving!” You unbuckled and hopped out of the Jeep before Josh could come over and help you. You headed into the restaurant and sat down at a table near a window.

You both ordered Pad Thai and a side of spring rolls. You were drinking a root beer while Josh was sipping on a beer.

“You want a taste?” he asked, handing you his cup. You shook your head.

“I hate the taste of beer.”

“Suit yourself!” He took another gulp.

“Don’t drink too much, you still have to drive!” you chuckled.

“One beer isn’t going to do anything, and I’m the furthest from a lightweight too,” he explained. “Plus, I would never drink and drive, especially with you in the car.”

“Good,” you smiled. You both finished the dinner and killed some time by talking more about Josh and Tyler’s band, and how the recording was going for their newest album. You loved hearing about Josh’s music, and you couldn’t wait until you could hear him play live.

“Ready to get going?” Josh asked, standing up from the table. You nodded, and grabbed his hand and followed him out of the restaurant. Josh paid for both of you, even though you offered to pay for yourself.

“It’s still only 6:30,” you mumbled. “It won’t get dark until like 10.”

“It’s an hour drive there though.”

“Josh. Sweetie. What’s an hour from 6:30?”

“7:30? Don’t sweetie me!”

“It’s not going to be dark at 7:30!”

“We can go a different route, take a longer detour or something! It will be okay!” Josh was laughing, which only made you laugh along with him.

“I love the way your eyes look when you laugh,” he brushed your hair out of your face and behind your ear. You and Josh headed to Mount Jeez, belting out Fun. the entire way there. The hour drive went by quickly, and before you knew it, you were pulling into the dirt road.

“Here we are!” Josh parked the Jeep.

“I think I have hearing loss from how loud the music was,” you chuckled.

“If that was loud to you, then never go to a rock concert!”

“I wasn’t planning on it!”

“What about to watch me play?” he pouted.

“I mean, of course! I will go to every single one of your concerts!” you kissed his cheek before grabbing the blankets from the back of his Jeep. You laid out the thicker ones of the ground and then placed the lighter ones on top of your body. The sun was setting, and you wrapped yourself in a blanket while you watched the golden light disappear.

Josh had his arm wrapped around you, and he rubbed circles on your shoulder. You both didn’t speak but just watched the sunset.

“It’s so beautiful,” you whispered, breaking the silence.

“I know.”

You turned to Josh and studied his features. His eyes reflected the golden sunset, and his nose wrinkled when he noticed you were staring at him.

“What’re you staring at?” he chuckled.

“You.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re fun to stare at. In a good way,” you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Look at me,” Josh whispered. You lifted your head so that your eyes were staring into his. You watched Josh hold your cheek with his palm, and pull your face closer to his. You kissed him softly while the golden light behind you dimmed.

“Are you okay, Josh?” you asked, as you noticed him pull away.

“Can I tell you something?” he whispered.

“Sure.”

“I’m leaving for college at the end of summer.”

“What?” you quickly sat up. “I thought you were staying back and working on the band?”

“I know, but I got into WSU-”

“WSU?” you cut him off. “Washington State?”

“Yeah-”

“Washington, like Washington Washington?” you interrupted again. Your heart was pounding, and anger was rising into your stomach.

“Yes, like the west coast.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you raised your voice.

“I don’t know, I was nervous,” he rubbed his arm.

“Josh, seriously, you can’t just give me the best summer ever and leave across the country.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry-”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” tears filled your eyes and you tried to blink them away,

“I’m so sorry-”

“How could you tell me you love me and then move halfway across the country,” your voice cracked.

“You haven’t even told me you loved me yet, I didn’t think it would be such a big deal!” He started to yell back after realizing he couldn’t get a sentence in without you interrupting him.

You stood up and stomped to his jeep, “Take me to Mariah’s. Now.”

“Y/N, just listen, we can talk this out,” he pleaded.

“Now, Josh.” You hopped in and slammed the door, waiting for him. You watched him grab the blankets through the side mirror, and stumble back to the jeep. His face was red, but you weren’t sure if it was from anger or some other emotion.

The car ride seemed like an eternity, and neither you or Josh talked. Carry on by Fun. played in the background, and you stared out the window. You were trying not to cry, but the sad music was not helping.

Your heart felt like it was broken into a million pieces, and your chest physically hurt. It was hard to take breaths, and your stomach twisted with anger. You wanted to get away from Josh.

How could he hurt you so bad?

How could he tell you that he loved you, knowing he was just going to leave you?

Why didn’t he tell you?

“We’re here,” Josh mumbled, pulling up to Mariah’s driveway. You saw Tyler’s car parked on the street outside, but you didn’t care. You threw yourself out of the car, but before you slammed the door you looked Josh in his eyes.

“Never talk to me again.” You slammed the door and didn’t look back. You knocked on Mariah’s door, and you stood there waiting, watching Josh drive off. The tears came flooding in when you couldn’t see his Jeep anymore.

You knocked again, hoping Mariah would come answer. Finally, you heard footsteps and the unlocking of the door.

“Y/N?” Mariah peeked through the door, and you could tell you must have interrupted something since she was wrapped in a blanket.

“Hi,” you tried to muster up a smile, but the tears continued to fall.

“Oh sweetie, come here,” Mariah held her arms open while you hugged her. You let out all the emotions you had kept inside.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1282
> 
> Warnings: Angst and Language
> 
> Author’s note: Have you ever seen someone who forgives so easily?
> 
> Song suggestion: idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish

“Thank you for letting me in,” you wiped your bloodshot eyes as Mariah closed the door behind you.

“Of course, Y/N. You’re my best friend, and I know we had a little rough patch, I will always be here for you,” she gave you a tight squeeze before heading to the kitchen.

“Did I interrupt something?” you asked, gesturing to her blanket that was wrapped around her body.

“A little, but it doesn’t matter,” she explained as she brought you a glass of water.

“Hey, Y/N!” Tyler walked into the kitchen wearing just basketball shorts. “You okay?”

“Yeah, Josh told me that he was moving to washington at the end of the summer, and how he’s practically has led me on this entire summer, making me believe he was staying home.”

“He didn’t tell you? Dang, I’m really sorry, Y/N” Tyler came over and gave you a side hug.

“It’s okay,” you shrugged. “Sorry for interrupting you guys.”

Tyler laughed, “It’s all good. I’m probably going to head out and let you two have a girls night.”

“Thank you Ty, I think that is needed,” Mariah smiled at Tyler and then smiled at you. You had missed Mariah, and you couldn’t believe you let a dumb boy ruin your guys friendship. Well, not really, but you blamed it on that.

“You should probably go get dressed,” you told Mariah. She nodded and ran upstairs. You stayed sitting in the kitchen wanting to call or text Josh, but you knew you had to stay strong. You already were missing his voice, and his soft kisses, and his calloused hands.

Mariah came back down, now wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a red t shirt. She must have seen your eyes that were filling with tears again, because she ran over and wrapped her arms around your body.

“Just let it out,” she cooed into your ear, and you did exactly what she said. Your body shook violently as you let the sobs come flying out of you. Mariah held on to your colvusing body, trying to hold you up.

“I just…don’t understand,” you were practically screaming through your sobs. “How could he just leave.”

“I don’t know, Y/N.”

“He could have told me…everything would have been okay if he just told me.” You couldn’t stop your chin from trembling when you spoke, and the room was starting to spin.

“Y/N, you look like you’re going to pass out. Do you want to take a nap?” she asked.

“It’s already so late though,” you wiped your eyes and you noticed black smears on the back on your hand from your mascara. “Could I take a shower instead?”

“Of course.”

“Also, we need to go to the store and buy hair dye,” you stammered. Mariah shot you a confusing look, but then raised her eyebrows as she realized that you weren’t messing around.

“You’re going to dye your hair?”

“Yes, I need a new me.”

“Y/N, it hasn’t even been two hours since you broke up!”

“Please don’t say the B word, it hurts,” you whispered. Mariah apologized, giving your shoulders another squeeze. “Where is the bathroom again? I’ve only been in here once since you moved out.”

“You could have came over more if you weren’t so busy ignoring me,” she joked, grabbing your hand and pulling you upstairs. Mariah had moved out after she got caught at the party at the beginning of the summer, and she had the rent money for it since she had been working at her dance studio since she was fifteen.

You locked yourself in the bathroom, and turned on the shower. The water sprayed, and you waited until the water was warm enough. You studied yourself in the mirror before it started to fog up. You looked horrible. Your eyes were bloodshot and had makeup all around, and your lips were swollen from crying.

You stripped down and stepped into the shower. You tried everything you could to not think about Josh, but when you are left alone with your thoughts it can get dangerous. You couldn’t really stop the tears from flowing again, and they mixed in with the water.

You hurried out of the shower, feeling better now that you washed your face. You dried yourself off, and got into a pair of sweats that Mariah was letting you borrow. Once you were finished with the bathroom you opened the door, and Mariah was standing outside holding a pair of scissors.

“Ready?” Mariah squinted her eyes at you. You immediately grabbed your hair, which was finally long enough to reach the middle of your waist. You had been growing it out for the longest time, but you were ready.

“Let’s do this, and then we can go get the dye.” You followed Mariah down to the kitchen where she had you sit in a chair. You told her what you wanted, and she got busy hacking away. She started with the end, making layers as she made her way up. Then she finished with your bangs, a look that you had never had before.

“Oh my god you’re going to love it!” she exclaimed. “Let me just dry it first. Then you can see!” She grabbed the hair dryer and furiously brushed your now-short hair. You walked over to the mirror once she finished.

“Oh my god!” You brought your hand up to touch your freshly trimmed hair, which now ended right underneath your chin. Your bangs were left on the longer side so they framed your face perfectly.

“Do you love?” Mariah grinned.

You nodded vigorously, “I love it! I need to dye it right now!” You started to run out the door when you realized that Mariah didn’t have her car keys yet.

“Hold up, wow breakups make you insane.”

“Hey! What did I say about the B word!”

“Sorry,” she giggled. She drove to the nearest target and you both jolted to the hair dye aisle. You looked for a color, before you finally decided on this purple color. It said it would last 10-15 washes, which you decided is how long it would take you to stop hurting.

“I am nervous!” you stated, while purchasing the hair dye.

“You’re going to look so good!” Mariah tried to reassure you, but your stomach started to burn with that familiar feeling of nerves.

Once you got back to Mariah’s house, you both read the instructions and started to get ready. You watched mariah pour the color into a bowl and put on plastic gloves. She snapped them like a doctor would, and started to brush the dye onto your dry hair.

“How long do I have to keep it in?” you asked Mariah, looking at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was wrapped up in a plastic bag.

“About fifteen minutes!” she said as she started to clean up the mess.

Those fifteen minutes seemed like it took forever, and you really just wanted to know what you were going to look like with your new short, and purple hair. The time went off, signaling for you to go wash it out and blow dry your hair.

“Holy fucking shit,” Mariah’s jaw dropped as you walked into her bedroom for her to see the final product. “It looks so fucking good!!”

“Thank you!” you ran up to her and gave her a huge hug. The pain from earlier that day was gone, and you were now only happy to have your best friend back and your new hair. The only issue now was how your parents were going to respond to your new look.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1239
> 
> Warnings: Language and angst
> 
> Author’s note: This chapter hurt my heart to write :( but also for the song suggestions for this chapter… You can choose between the two! If you want to go more towards angry angst (Paramore) or sad angst (blink-182)!
> 
> Song suggestion: Misery Business by Paramore OR I Miss You by Blink-182

“Y/F/N Y/L/N!” your mom screamed when you walked into the kitchen the next morning after spending the night at Mariah’s. This got the attention of everyone else who was at the breakfast table. You could tell your dad was filling with rage.

“What are you more upset about? My hair? Or the fact that I didn’t come home last night?” you mouthed to your mom.

“You spent the night at your boyfriends?” your Dad almost choked on his coffee he was drinking.

You stared him down, “No. Actually, he dumped my ass and I spent the night with Mariah because the last I needed was my worthless excuse of parents to be lecturing me after I got my heart broke.”

“Don’t talk to us in that way!” your Mom screamed at you and you just rolled your eyes. “Why did you ruin your hair? You look like a tramp!”

“You know what? Mom and Dad, I am eighteen years old. How about you fuck off?” you screamed back at them and you stormed upstairs. You slammed the door as loud as you could, making everything in your room shake.

“Y/F/N Y/M/N! Get your ass out here now!” you could hear your Dad howled from the other side of your door.

“Fuck off!” you growled back. You slid down the door falling to your knees. You looked around your room and you noticed a pile of Polaroid pictures that you and Josh had taken from the past few weeks.

You walked over to them and picked them up, looking through them slowly. Your eyes became clouded, and your heart began to feel like it was crumbling. You bit your lip to stop yourself from crying out.

You didn’t realize how hurt you were, and how much you missed Josh. The only thing you wanted to after the confrontation with your parents was to be wrapped in Josh’s arms, and hear his voice telling you that everything was going to be okay.

You wanted to rip the pictures up, but you couldn’t get yourself to do it. You weren’t even angry anymore, you were just hurt and sad that you two were no longer together, and there was no reason for you to try to stitch it back together.

“Y/N? Can I come in?” you heard your little sister knock on your door. You didn’t really want to talk to anyone, but you let her come in anyway.

“I’m sorry for what I did downstairs,” you blubbered out while tears were falling down. You grabbed a tissue to try to clean yourself up.

“I love you,” Bri engulfed you in a tight hug, holding her head close to your chest. “I just want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy,” she whispered into your shirt.

“Bri, you can’t cry when I’m already breaking down.”

“I’m sorry it’s just not fair,” she pulled away from your now tear stained shirt. You both looked at each other with wet faces. “I like your hair a lot by the way,” she wiped her nose.

“I just needed a fresh start, and to distract myself,” you explained.

“What exactly happened? You and Josh broke up?”

“Yeah, well he told me that he was going to college in Washington, like on the west coast, and it turned out he was lying to me all summer that he was staying back, and that he was just going to leave me and move halfway across the world.”

“I mean it’s only across the country, but I’m sorry.”

“You know what I mean, and yeah, of course, I’m sad that he’s going to college there but I’m angry and hurt that he lied to me for so long. That’s why I ended things.”

“You ended things?” your little sister’s eyes grew wide.

You nodded,  “But it doesn’t make it hurt any less, I miss him like crazy.”

“Which is understandable.” Bri sat down next to you on your bed, and she picked up one of the polaroids that you were looking at.“You looked so happy though,” she pointed out.

“I know, and I was. I truly was so happy.”

“It sucks.”

“Yeah, and I keep on thinking how excited he was when we talked about doing cute couple things during the fall and winter when that whole time he knew that he wasn’t even going to be here. He just lied,” you bit your lip again, not wanting to cry anymore.

“Did you love him?” Bri looked up at you.

“I don’t know, Bri. I don’t know.”

A couple of days had passed since everything went down with your parents, and you hadn’t spoken one word to them. You dad ignored you, and your mom tried to talk to you but you were the one to ignore her.

You had picked up extra shifts at the ice cream shop so you could keep your mind occupied. Ethan was being super supportive too. He always made jokes at work anytime it was slow and noticed you started to overthink.

The only good thing with being sad and heartbroken is that it allowed writing poetry to come easier and more natural for you. You had almost filled up six pages already with poems in just the last two days.

You missed Josh. A lot. All you wanted to do was call him and get him back, but you knew you had to be strong. That night after work you headed home and ran into your mom who was sitting downstairs.

“How was work?” she spoke in a soft tone.

“Fine,” you reluctantly answered.

“Can I talk to you?”

Oh no, you thought. This could not be good.

“I’m really tired, Mom. I think I’m-”

“Please, Y/N,” she interrupted. You sighed and walked over to the couch she was sitting on. “I’m so sorry for everything I had done this summer, I should have given you more freedom.”

“What?” you asked in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I shouldn’t have grounded you, and made you get in trouble because it wasn’t going to stop you, and you should be able to express how to want to look. I feel bad.”

“It’s okay Mom, really.”

“But it’s not, Y/N. And I can tell you are hurting, and I want you to know that I am here for you. Please, just let me in.” you mom grabbed your hand and held it. You looked up into her soft, green eyes. She meant everything she was saying.

“He lied to me,” you mumbled, gnawing on your bottom lip.

“Who? Josh?”

“Yeah, Josh. We’ve been off and on all summer, and we officially started dating about three weeks ago and just the other night he told me he was moving to Washington for college when the entire summer he was telling me he was staying here.” You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing again.

“Oh, my pumpkin,” your mom held you. She hadn’t called you your childhood nickname since you were in middle school, and for some reason, that name gave you a sense of security.

“I’m sorry for everything too, Mom,” you sobbed, yet again. You really did not picture this summer with you crying so much. In fact, you had pictured this summer to be the best summer yet, but instead, you were filled with heartbreak and guilt.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1194
> 
> Warnings: Angst and Language (i think?)
> 
> Author’s note: Enjoy! 
> 
> Song suggestion: Stars by Fun.

“I’m surprised you haven’t seen Josh yet, it’s been almost two weeks!” Bri said while you were busy making lunch for the both of you. It consisted of apple slices, peanut butter, and turkey sandwiches. You were surprised that you hadn’t spotted Josh anywhere, even though you didn’t go that many places since you were grounded. You went to work, Mariah’s occasionally, and that’s about it.

“I’m glad, I don’t know what I would do if I saw him,” you handed Bri the sandwich you had made for her.

“Thank you! You excited for the state fair tonight?”

You groaned, “Do I have to take you?”

“Yes! Mom and Dad said that one of your chores was to chaperone me and my friends!”

“You guys are fourteen, you don’t need chaperones.”

“Apparently we do, and it’s fine! Just drop us off and go do your own thing!” she said, taking bites of her sandwich. “Johnny’s sandwiches are better than yours, yours are too dry.”

“Of course they are,” you chuckled, taking the seat next to Bri eating your lunch too. Jonny walked downstairs and joined you two.

“Did you make me one?” he asked, and you shot him a look.

“You wouldn’t want one, they’re bad,” Bri giggled. You gave her a light punch to her shoulder.

“Are you coming to the fair?” you asked your older brother.

He shook his head, “Hell no, I hated taking you two when you were little!”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes while you finished your lunch. You headed back up to your room to work on more of your poetry. You had been in a groove lately of getting short poems written out, and it was helping with your mental health a lot.

Hours passed while you sat next to your window, listening to the album Some Night’s by Fun. and writing poetry, and before you knew it, it was time to get going to the fair.

You put on a pair of your favorite denim shorts and a flowy black tank top. You brushed your purple hair and straightened your bangs. You applied a little bit of makeup, just in case there was any cute guys there.

You and Mariah had been talking about trying to find a rebound before the summer ends to just help you officially get over Josh, even though you don’t think you could ever fully get over him.

“You ready to go?” you called into your little sister’s room. She was wearing a black flowy skirt and a red tank with it. “You look pretty.”

“Thanks! So do you, and yeah I’m ready!” You both headed to the car, and drove an hour or so to the fairgrounds in Columbus. It was a sunny day, and it was about a nice 74 degrees since it was around 7 at night. The sun was just starting to set and the blue sky had the smallest hint of pink to it.

“There are my friends!” Bri pointed out to the group of fourteen-year-olds waiting by the entrance. You only recognized a couple of them.

“Have fun! Meet me back here around 10!” you called out after her. You parked your car and decided if you wanted to check out the fair. You came to the conclusion that you were going to head in because one, you didn’t eat dinner, and two, a corn dog sounded really good.

Once you stepped foot into the fairgrounds, the smells and sounds brought back childhood memories to you. They came rushing back. The smell of cotton candy and fried food, and the sound of the rides and children screaming. You used to have so much fun with Johnny and Bri when you were little. Especially that one time Johnny had invited his crush and ended up puking all over her. You never let him forget that.

You found a food cart that was selling corn dogs and hot dogs, so you ordered one corn dog and a blue raspberry Icee. You sat and ate, sometimes seeing Bri walk by with her friends.

Once you finished your dinner, you decided to walk around and check out what else there was. You could hear music in the distance so you decided to head towards that, especially since it sounded live. As you got closer to the sound of drums and cheering, you realized just how big the crowd was in front of the stage. There were tons of people, probably hundreds, jumping up and down to the music.

“How is everyone doing tonight?” the lead singer asked as the song came to an end. The voice sounded familiar so you stood on your toes to get a better look. “This next song is called Guns for Hands!”

Holy shit. It was Tyler.

You watched him hold his hand up in the shape of a gun and slowly turn it in a fist, and the crowd erupted with applause. You looked at the drummer, and low and behold, it was Josh.

You gasped out loud and you couldn’t take your eyes off of Josh. You watched his arms move while he drummed to the beat, and you felt like the world stopped. You forgot about the people around you cheering. All you could hear was the song, and all you could feel is Josh’s drumming in your chest.

You watched his gaze look up and out at the crowd during a slower part of the song, and you both locked eyes. You watched him as he was trying to figure out who you were. You weren’t even sure if he could recognize you with your new hair.

You immediately noticed that he became more distracted with his drumming, but he still did not take his eyes off you. You turned your focus to Tyler who was now rapping, and you were pleasantly surprised with how good they were live.

“Thank you for coming out! We’re twenty one pilots, and so are you!” Tyler spoke while Josh joined him at the front of the stage and bowed after the song came to a grand ending. The sound the audience made was deafening as they screamed and cheered for the two boys on stage, and you threw your hands up to your ears to try to drown it out. Everyone started to push forward and a large man hit your shoulder and you almost stumbled to the ground.

You slowly ran away from the sound to find a quiet area to regain your thoughts and emotions. You weren’t sure what you were feeling, but all you knew is that Josh definitely had recognized you. The memories of the summer started to flood back to you. The milkshakes, the car rides, the kisses. Everything. You missed them so much.

“No, stop!” you told yourself out loud, trying to make sure you weren’t going to start crying at the fair. You had worked so hard the past week to get over the breakup, but seeing him made it hurt all over again.

“Hey, Y/L/N.” You turned around to see Josh walking towards you, hands in his short pockets. “Long time, no see.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1348
> 
> Warnings: None, I don’t think! 
> 
> Author’s Note: I am drafting this the night before like a proactive human (thanks, Kae!) and as always, I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Song Suggestion: Slow Burn by Kacey Musgraves

It took you a while to comprehend that Josh was standing in front of you, speaking to you, after you haven’t seen him for over two weeks. His eyes creased as he tried to give you an apologetic smile.

“Hi, Dun.” You blinked your eyes after what seemed like forever. You wanted to rub them, to make sure that he really was in front of you, but even if you wanted to move you couldn’t.

“Did you enjoy the performance?” He snapped you out of the trance that he had put you in,

“Oh, yeah it was good! I never heard you guys live before!”

“Yeah, we’re really blowing up lately! That last song, Guns for Hands, people love it!”

You rubbed the back of your neck which had little dots of sweat popping up, “Yeah, I liked it.” You didn’t understand why you were so nervous, and why you couldn’t stop staring at his lips while they moved.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

You wanted to say no to his request, but for some reason but instead, you nodded, “Sure.” You watched Josh rubbed his tattooed arm, meaning that he was also nervous.

You followed Josh a step behind so you weren’t close enough for him to touch you or anything, even though you sort of wanted to grab his hand. The kids running around made it difficult to start a conversation but eventually, it quieted down enough.

“How have you been? I like your hair!” Josh exclaimed, still keeping his steps slow and steady.

You laughed, “I wondered if you were going to say something about it. Thanks, I did it the night after-”

“The night after you dumped me?” Josh interrupted.

“To be fair, you hurt me and it was the right decision.”

Josh stopped midwalk and stared at you, “Was it? Was it the right decision Y/N?”

“What?” His sudden change of tone took you by surprise.

“Y/N, I loved you, I still am in love with you.”

“Josh,” you tried to stop him, not wanting to do this in the middle of the fairgrounds.

“Seriously, listen to me. I’m sorry for not telling you about me moving to Washington, but you literally kept on explaining how excited you were and I didn’t have the guts.”

“Well you had the guts that night, right after getting my hopes up.” You crossed your arms in anger.

“I know that, and I’m so sorry. I know my apologies can’t make it better, but I truly am so sorry.”

“I know you’re sorry, Josh, but do you realize that you talked to me about dates in the fall knowing that you wouldn’t be here?”

“Yes, I do realize. I realize that I made a huge mistake, and I lost one of the most important things in my life. Please, Y/N, I miss you.” Josh’s voice quivered at the end, and you could see his eyes well up with tears.

“Josh,” you whispered. You grabbed his hand, and he looked down at your fingers intertwining. “I’ve missed you too.”

“I want you back, Y/N.”

“When do you leave? Summer is almost over,” you asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

“A week,” you saw Josh suck in a breath, anticipating your response.

“Oh,” your heart felt like it broke again.

“But Y/L/N, I want to spend the entire week with you.”

“I want that too, Dun.” Now it was your turn for you to start crying. “I’m sorry for being dramatic and leaving you, we lost out on time we could have been together.”

Josh wiped a tear off your cheek that had fallen, “Don’t focus on the past, just look forward and we can make this week an amazing one.”

“Can I kiss you?” you asked. Josh nodded, and he leaned down planting his lips on yours. His familiar taste made you realize how much you had missed his kisses.

“God, Y/N, I’ve missed you more than you could have ever imagined,” he leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

You smiled, “And I’ve missed you too.” You pulled back, looking into his shining dark chocolate eyes. Josh took a strand of your short purple hair and twisted it around his finger.

“You know, I think I should dye my hair too,” he suggested

“Really? You want to?”

“Yeah! Let’s do it tomorrow!” His face lit up, and you couldn’t help to smile with him. You missed Josh so much, and even though this summer hasn’t been what you were expecting, you could now turn it around for the last week at least.

“I’m glad I came to the fair,” you giggled.

“Me too,” Josh grabbed your chin and lifted it up so he could kiss you again. This time it was a long kiss, and your body felt like it could fly away right then and there.

“You guys back together?” A male voice interrupted your guys kiss. You and Josh turned around to see Tyler watching you both.

“I guess so,” Josh chuckled, placing an arm around your shoulder.

“I like your hair Y/N, even though when I left you at Mariah’s that one night it did not look like that,” Tyler mentioned.

“Well, heartbreak can do that to ya,” you joked, giving Josh a little nudge with your elbow. His eyes shifted down to yours and back to Tyler’s with uneasiness. “Josh, I’m joking.”

“I’m glad you guys are back together, but I’m going to suggest that you two not make out in the middle of a family friendly fair,” Tyler slapped his hand down on Josh’s shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow for recording?”

“Aw man, is it alright if I hang with Y/N?” Josh looked at Tyler with wide eyes. Tyler looked at you, and then back to Josh before shrugging.

“Yeah, it’s all good! I’m going to get going, nice seeing you Y/N!” Tyler walked away giving you a small wave.

“I was thinking, I want you to meet my family,” you turned to Josh once Tyler was away.

“Like your parents?” Josh stared at you with wide eyes.

“Yes.”

“Y/N! I’ve been looking all over for you!” You turned around to see Bri running up to you. “Oh, hi Josh!”

“Bri!” You looked startled, not knowing what to do. You had been talking to her constantly the past week about how much he hurt you, and she was helping you get over him.

“It’s nice to finally meet the infamous Bri!” Josh held out his hand to your little sister. You watched her light up and shake his hand.

“Are you guys dating again!?” Bri grabbed your arm and started to jump up and down.

“Ow, Bri stop. Yes, I think we are.” You looked over at Josh with a question and he nodded with a smile.

“Yay! As long as you don’t hurt her again,” Bri pointed a finger at Josh‘s chest.

“I won’t!” he held his hands up to plead innocent.

“Good because if you do I’m going to have to cut off your-”

“Okay!” You slapped your hand over Bri’s mouth, shoving her into your body. She struggled, trying to get your hand off hers.

“I couldn’t breathe!” she sputtered, finally prying your hand off.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt Y/N. I’ve made that mistake once, and I’m never going to repeat it.” Josh held out his pinky. You watched as Bri pinky promised Josh.

“Bri and I should probably be getting home, I’ll call you later tonight?”

“Yeah, of course! Thank you for giving me a second chance,” he leaned in for another kiss, and you responded with a little peck.

“Gross,” Bri mumbled.

“Bye Bri, nice meeting you!” Josh waved, walking away. You watched him turn around and put his hands in his pockets. The sunset hit his tattooed arm so that the colors glistened in the warm, golden light. You were so glad you went to the fair, and you were finally feeling happy again. Maybe everything was looking up.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 2209
> 
> Warnings: Just lots of fluff :)
> 
> Author’s Note: This is my favorite chapter so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
> 
> Song Suggestion: Jump on my shoulders by AWOLNATION (but like start it once they are in the car for maximum effect hehe)

“Do Mom and Dad know that Josh is coming over?” Bri asked you while she worked your hair into a french braided ponytail. It was finally long enough to be pulled back, which you were glad about.

“No, but it doesn’t really matter.” Your stomach had been feeling like it was on fire all morning from the anxious thoughts swirling your head. What if your parents didn’t approve? What if Josh doesn’t like your parents?

“I can’t believe you guys are back together after seeing him once at the fair, like don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you! It’s just we worked so hard to get you over him!” Bri explained, putting the finishing touches on your ponytail. It was short, and she left the bangs down but the braids made it look fancier.

“I know, but sometimes things happen for a reason. I just dont think it was a coincidence, plus everything felt right when he kissed me for the first time since I left him.”

Bri shrugged, “I guess I just don’t understand.” She left your room, heading back to hers. You checked your makeup before heading downstairs where your parents were busy playing a game of scrabble.

“Mom? Dad? Can I tell you something?” you said softly. You watched your parents eyes look up at you, and you took a gulp.

“What is it, sweetie?” your mom said with a worried tone.

“Uh, my boyfriend, Josh, is coming over. He wants to meet you guys.”

“Boyfriend?” Your dad huffed at the word.

“Yes, Dad. Boyfriend. And we’ve been together almost all summer, just on and off, but I want you guys to meet him.”

“I would love to meet him,” your mom said with a little uneasiness in her tone.

“I don’t think you guys understand how much he means to me.”

“Is he the reason why you were drinking, and sneaking out all summer?” your dad growled. You could tell he was angry, and you wanted to text Josh to not come.

“No, Dad. Seriously, please,” you were practically begging when you all were interrupted with a knocking. All three of your heads snapped towards the door.

“Be nice,” your Mom whispered to your Dad. You walked over to your front door, and opened it to reveal Josh wearing a black Nike t shirt and shorts. He smiled at you, and embraced you with a hug.

“Josh, this is my mom, Y/M/N!”

“Hi! Nice to meet you!” Josh held out his hand and your Mom shook it. You watched her eyes dance from his tattooed arm to nose piercing to gauges.

“Nice to meet you too!,” she mustered up a smile before retracting her hand and walking back to the kitchen.

“And that’s my Dad over there,” you nodded toward the figure sitting in the recliner. He didn’t look up from the book he was reading.

“Hi, Mr. Y/L/N!” Josh walked over, extending his arm once again for a handshake. Your dad looked Josh up and down before going back to his book.

“Nice to meet you too, Josh.” His tone was cold, and you could tell that Josh was uncomfortable. You grabbed his hand and pulled him upstairs to your room.

“Your Dad definitely does not like me,” he whispered.

“He doesn’t want his daughter dating some hooligan like you,” you teased. Josh rolled his eyes and sat on your bed. You watched him inspect your room. He had been there before, but he still was taking everything in.

“I’m so glad that you went to the concert last night,” Josh said after what seemed forever. He patted the bed next to him, and you walked over and took a seat. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close so your head was resting on his shoulder.

“I know, me too. I’m really sorry for everything,” you whispered.

“No more apologies, look forward, remember?”

You nodded, “Yes, I remember. Are we going to dye your hair now?”

“Yes! We need to go to the store to get the stuff though, who wants to drive?” Josh asked, standing up from the bed quickly almost making you fall over from the lack of support.

“I can drive!” You sat back up and jumped up, grabbing your keys from your wall.

“I don’t think you have ever driven me before,” Josh ran his hand through his hair. “Should I be scared?”

“You should be terrified,” you joked.

You and Josh headed to your red Kia Forte. Josh settled in the passenger seat, while you got situated in the driver’s seat. You handed him the aux cord, and he smiled. He put on some Awolnation, and you two were dancing and singing as if the past two weeks never happened at all.

You were happy, and you wanted to look over and watch Josh sing and drum, but you had to keep your eyes on the road. Fortunately, the store was only about ten minutes away.

“We’re here!” you announced while pulling into a spot by the front door. “What do we need again?”

“Bleach kit, and to pick a color! I also want to get a bag of Doritos, they sound really good,” Josh said while getting out of the car.

“Of course you want Doritos.” You and Josh headed into the store and headed straight to the hair dye aisle. You picked out what seemed like a reliable bleaching kit, but also one that wasn’t too expensive.

“There’s so many color options,” Josh mused. You watched his eyes dance from one box of dye to the next. Finally, you saw his hand reach for one.

“You made a decision?”

“Blue. I know you said I should have done blue earlier in the summer, so I think I decided on that.”

“You remember that?” You thought back to when you first had talked to him about dying his hair, and how blue reminded you of cotton candy.

“Of course I do! Do you think the bleach will damage my hair?”

“It might make it less curly, but I’m not sure!” You reached your hand up and tousled the top of his hair. You followed Josh to the snack aisle and watched him grab a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, and went back to the self-checkout to pay.

The entire car ride home was spent with Josh freaking out about the hair dye, and all the possibilities of what could go wrong.

“I don’t want my hair to fall out!” he screamed.

“Josh, shh, don’t yell! It’s going to be okay, stop stressing yourself out.”

“I met your parents for the first time with brown hair, and then I’m going to leave looking like cotton candy.”

“Yummy,” you snickered.

“Seriously, Y/N! I don’t want them to dislike me even more.”

“Joshua Dun, it’s a hair color. They have other things to be upset about, like you taking their daughter’s v card.”

“That hasn’t even happened!”

“Yet.” You looked over at him to see his reaction. You could tell his cheeks were red, which made you want to giggle but you kept it inside.

“Anyways,” Josh changed the subject. “I’m just worried.”

“Well, don’t be!” you reassured him while pulling into the driveway. You headed up to your bathroom and got everything set up.

“You could probably take your shirt off so you don’t get dye on it.” Bri suggested as she walked by the open door.

“You just want to see him without a shirt on,” you rolled your eyes closing the door on your little sister. “But she’s right, you should take your shirt off.”

Josh shrugged his shirt off, and the sight of his bare chest made you gasp. He was just so pretty, and you wanted to give him kisses everywhere.

“Earth to Y/N,” Josh waved his hand in front of your face, snapping you out of your trance.

“Sorry, I got distracted,” you laughed. “Ready?” You slipped on a pair of gloves and mixed the bleach powder with the developer. You started with the ends of his hair, knowing that the closer to the head the faster the bleach would activate.

“It’s cold,” Josh whispered as you were applying the color to the back of his hair.

“It’s hard to reach because you’re so tall,” you mumbled.

“Here, let me sit down,” Josh walked over to the closed toilet and sat down. He tapped his knees signaling you to sit on his lap.

“How am I supposed to reach your hair now?”

“Just like straddle me,” he laughed.

“I see what you’re doing, Dun,” you rolled your eyes as you sat on his lap facing him. You held the bleach carefully making sure you weren’t spilling it. You continued to brush it on his hair while he held your hips.

“Is it done yet?” Josh asked. You shook your head.

“Just a few more strands.” You worked the bleach in until you couldn’t see any natural color left. The bleach made you realize how much longer the top of his hair was compared to the sides.

“Now is it done?”

“Yes, Dun, it’s done,” you giggled at the pun you made as you scooted off of Josh’s lap. He stood up and looked in the mirror.

“How long do I have to wait?”

“Like 30 minutes, here put this shower cap on,” you handed him a clear cap and he placed it around his head.

“What should we do for 30 minutes?” he asked. You shrugged, opening the bathroom door and walking back to your bedroom.

“Why is Josh shirtless?” you heard your brother ask from his room.

“We’re bleaching his hair,” you explained and you didn’t have to look at Johnny to know that he rolled his eyes.

“Both your dad and your brother do not like me, it’s so obvious!” Josh complained.

“It’s okay, they’re boys and boys are dumb.”

“I’m a boy.”

“I know, and you’re dumb!”

“Rude, it just sucks that they don’t like me.”

“Josh, it doesn’t matter. They need to get used to it because you aren’t going anywhere.”

“Except for when I literally move away,” Josh chuckled. You slapped him hard on his shoulder. “Ow!”

“New rule. Don’t talk about you leaving. I want to enjoy this next week.”

“Whatever, so what are we going to do while we wait? You never answered me.” Josh walked over you. You were looking out your window at your neighbor golden retriever running around the yard.

“I want a dog so bad,” you whispered.

“Me too, I love golden retrievers. They retrieve things, so I could have him retrieve me stuff so I don’t have to ever stand up,” Josh explained.

“You’re so unbelievably lazy.”

“So?” Josh gave you a look, and you wanted to slap him again, but softly this time.

The next thirty minutes went by quickly, especially because you got distracted by Josh’s lips. Mid make out session, your timer on your phone went off.

“Time to wash your hair!” you whispered while pulling away from Josh’s lips.

“You drive me insane, Y/L/N,” he murmured, leaning in for another kiss but being too late as you were already walking to the bathroom.

You opened up the box of blue hair dye, and you read the instructions while Josh rinsed the bleach out of his hair, and then dried it.

“I look insane,” he laughed as he realized what he looked like with bleached hair. It was a brassy color and did not look good.

“It’s going to be blue soon, don’t worry.” You spent the next 45 minutes applying the blue dye to every strand on his head, making sure you did not miss any sections.

“I have to wait again, don’t I?” Josh groaned.

“Sorry,” you handed him the shower cap again. This time the thirty minutes were spent eating Doritos and playing Mario Kart with Bri in her room.

“I lost again!” Josh threw the controller on the bed with annoyance.

“Sorry, I’m unbeatable,” Bri bragged.

“She really is,” you added. Your alarm went off again, and you quickly grabbed Josh’s hand and pulled him into the bathroom. You were eager to see what he was going to look like with blue hair.

Josh washed the dye out, which took longer than you were expecting. Your sink was filled with blue water, but soon it was all washed out. Damp blue hair rested on his forehead, and you couldn’t help but gasp.

“It’s blue! Your hair!” you clapped excitedly.

“It actually looks so sick!” Josh inspected his new hair, turning around and seeing it from all angles in the mirror.

“Dry it! I want to see what it looks like dried!” you handed him the blow dryer and he got to it. The final product was amazing, and you instantly fell in love with his new do.

His curls were looser than before, and his hair looked exactly like cotton candy, or maybe it was more like clouds. It made his eyes look shinier. Josh couldn’t keep his hands away from it, and you couldn’t either.

“Who knew blue would look so good on you?” you gave him a kiss on his cheek.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1753
> 
> Warnings: Angst, fluff, and a little bit of smut
> 
> Authors note: Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Song Suggestions: Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners (start when it mentions it!!!) and When We’re High by LP

 

“I can’t believe you leave in two days, “ you whispered while you laid on Josh’s bare chest in the middle of a park, drawing tiny circles on his chest. The sun was beating down on you, but the cool breeze made it bearable.

“I thought we weren’t talking about that?” Josh sat up a little bit, making you have to adjust how you were laying down. You settled on having your head on his lap, looking up at him. 

“I know, it’s just really hitting me, especially after how amazing the past few days were.”

Josh started to play with your soft purple hair, “I know, but we can only make today and tomorrow special as well.”

“What should we do today?” You flipped over so that you were resting your head on your arms which now laid in his lap, and he started to scratch your lower back. You closed your eyes and wanted to fall asleep from his soft touch.

“I enjoy just laying in the sun with you.”

“I know, but we should do something else too! Let’s see how many cute dates we can go on today,” you suggested.

“That sounds like a challenge, but I’m totally down.”

“I think we should start by getting milkshakes, and then we could go to play mini golf.”

“Mini golf?” Josh raised his eyebrow and you nodded.

“What? Are you afraid of losing?”

“No, I just don’t want you to be sad that you’re the one that will be losing,” he teased. 

“Any other ideas of what we could do?” you asked him.

“I have tomorrow planned out, so I think you should decide on tonight.”

“Okay, well then after mini golf we should go to the drive-in!”

“That sounds amazing,” Josh brushed your growing out bangs away from your forehead. He leaned down and planted a kiss on the top of your head. “Let’s get going.”

You and Josh walked back to his Jeep and you asked him if you could play a song back to the ice cream shop. He nodded, so you took his aux cord and played Come On Eileen. You turned the music all the way up so that it was blasting out of the speakers, and making the windows and mirrors vibrate with the sound.

“Roll down the windows!” you tried to scream over the music but Josh just shook his head and looked over at you with a confused look since he couldn’t hear you. You rolled them down yourselves and the wind blew your hair everywhere. 

You looked over at Josh who was drumming on his steering wheel and he looked over to lock eyes. You were singing your heart out and Josh was smiling ear to ear.

“You’re so silly!” he screamed and you just shrugged, continuing singing. You reached over and grabbed Josh’s right hand and started swinging it up and down as you continued to sing along to the song. 

The Jeep sped down the freeway, and the wind made you get a bit chilly so you reached back to grab Josh’s sweatshirt and threw it on. Josh smiled as you pulled your head through the opening, and placed his hand on your left thigh giving it a squeeze.

“I love you!” he said, but you couldn’t hear him over the music so you continued to sing along to the song all the way until you arrived at the ice cream shop.

“Stay here,” he gave you a wink, and you wondered what he was up to. You stayed in the car as you watched him walk into the ice cream shop. You fiddled with the strings on your sweatshirt before you looked up and saw Josh walking back to you with two ice cream cones filled with three scoops of strawberry ice cream and topped with whipped cream and a cherry.

“This isn’t a milkshake,” you giggled, opening the door to grab the cone. You licked off a piece that was dripping.

“We always get milkshakes, and I wanted to surprise you.” His eyes did the crease thing when he smiled, and you started to realize how much you were going to miss his smile and eyes when they crinkle. 

“Thank you, Josh, this means a lot,” you started to eat the ice cream and Josh joined you in his Jeep. The windows were still down, and the sun was beating in making the ice cream melt pretty quickly. 

Once you both were all done with your cones, you headed out to the closest mini golf place in Columbus. It was only about thirty minutes away.

“I hope it’s not busy,” you told Josh.

“It’s like five, which is dinner time, so hopefully people will be out eating instead of playing.” 

“True.” You sat back and listened to the music that Josh was playing, it was a new Death Cab for Cutie album. Josh took his right hand off of his steering wheel and placed it on your left thigh. 

You looked over at him and could tell he was smirking. You continued to sit back and stare out the window. You felt safe. Happy. Secure. It sucked that you were going to lose all of that in a matter of two days. 

“It doesn’t look too busy,” Josh announced, pulling into a parking spot. You both headed in to book a time. It was only a ten-minute wait, so you guys were happy. You grabbed a club and a purple golf ball. Josh grabbed a blue one. 

“Hey look, I got a blue ball,” Josh snickered holding it up. 

“Disgusting,” you rolled your eyes. You headed out to the first hole, which wasn’t too difficult, it only had a couple rocks in the way and a little tunnel to go under. 

“I’ll go first, watch the pro,” you said in a cocky tone. You hit the ball a little too hard and it went straight to the rock, bounced off of it and went flying into the next hole over. 

“Pro, huh?” Josh stood there with his arms crossed, laughing at your mistake. You scuttled over to the next hole and grabbed your ball, apologizing to the family you had interrupted. 

“Let’s see how you do,” you nodded your head. Josh lightly tapped the ball and it went straight down, landing right next to the hole. 

“See?” Josh gave you another wink. You definitely were not going to miss his sarcastic winks, or maybe you would. 

“Second time’s the charm, right?” You set your ball down again and hit it softer this time. It went down straight but it took you two more tries to get it in while Josh got it in after two. 

The rest of the game was pretty fair. It switched off from you leading, to Josh winning in the very end. 

“I was so close, I can’t believe you beat me by four!” you groaned. Josh just laughed, not wanting to brag too much.

“You played great, just not great enough,” he kissed your forehead. “I can’t believe it’s almost eight already! We should get going to the drive-in!”

“What movie is playing?” you asked as you headed back to the car.

“A movie called The Help.”

“I’ve heard of that! It sounds good!” You hopped into the jeep and you both drove to the Columbus drive in. Josh found a spot towards the back and you opened up his trunk. The sun was down, and the sky had turned dark. You were shivering from the cold, and you wished you had brought pants to change into.

“Good thing I keep these blankets in here,” Josh spread out a blanket and handed you another one to put on top of you both. 

“Yeah! Good thing.”

“Do you want popcorn?” Josh asked, and you nodded. You stayed in the back of the Jeep, trying to get the radio tuned to the right station. Josh returned with two Pepsis and a bucket of yellow popcorn.

“Thank you! I’m starving,” you immediately started shoving the popcorn into your mouth, and Josh just stared at you. “What,” you mumbled with your mouth full. 

“How can someone be so gorgeous when they eat like a monster,” he teased, planting a kiss on your knee that was folded up near your chest. 

The movie started, and you rested on Josh underneath the blanket. His hands were doing his usual thing of drawing circles on your bare skin. The first thirty minutes of the movie was pretty good until you got distracted by Josh trying to kiss you. 

“Josh, I’m trying to watch the movie,” you whispered as he tried to pull your chin to him.

“Please kiss me, I don’t have that many more opportunities for kisses.” He had a point. You leaned over and planted your lips onto his, allowing your tongue to meet his. Josh leaned back so that you both were laying down. 

His hands danced down to your lower back, staying right above the top of your shorts, and you whimpered into his mouth wanting him to touch you more. 

“What happened to the movie,” he softly joked. 

“It wasn’t that good anyways,” you started to kiss his neck, wrapping your arms around his waist. You wanted to wrap your leg around him and be pulled on top but you knew you had to be discreet. 

“We’re in public, you know,” Josh murmured as you started to kiss down his chest over his shirt. 

“We’re also in a car and everyone else is paying attention to the movie, now touch me,” you whispered into his ear. You could feel Josh tremble at your words, and he pulled you closer. 

Your touches got more desperate and as the movie played in the background, your hands had found their way underneath his shorts, and his underneath yours. The movie ended, and both you and Josh were a sweaty mess. 

“You are crazy, Y/L/N,” he whispered, handing you a napkin to clean your hand off. 

“Remember when you used to think I was innocent.”

“Yeah, that was a mistake,” Josh chuckled. You both got back into the front seats and headed back to your home. He pulled up to your front door and grabbed your hand before you got out.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I know,” you smiled.

“Do you love me?”

“Maybe,” you hopped out of his Jeep after giving him a quick peck on his lips. “See you tomorrow?” 

“Yep,” Josh nodded.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1995
> 
> Warnings: Fluff and Smut
> 
> Author’s note: This chapter hurt to reread and edit, but I hope you enjoy it! Second to last chapter :)
> 
> Song Suggestions: Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey (like just put it on repeat, do it. now.)

 

“You look gorgeous,” your Mom whispered as she stuck her head in your room. You smiled as you inspected yourself in the stand-up mirror in front of you. You were wearing a red summer dress that had a deep v neck and ended right above your knees, black high heels, and a diamond necklace. You had curled your hair was a faint purple and put half of it up in a clean bun.

“Thanks, Mom.” You walked over to her and gave her a hug. You could feel her hand rub your back.

“I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m right here for you.”

“I just can’t believe tonight is my last night with him.”

“Just until December,” she pulled a curl that was hanging by your face and you watched it bounce from your side profile. Your purple was almost faded, and your hair now being able to be long enough to put the top half up. “Your hair looks like a beauty queen’s hair.”

“That’s kind of the look I was going for,” you grabbed your purse and checked your phone. Josh had texted you five minutes ago that he was on his way to pick you up. You had to work during the day, cutting your very last day of summer with Josh short. 

“Where are you guys going for dinner?” your mom asked.

“I’m not sure,” you shrugged. “He said he has the whole night planned out as a surprise.”

“Well, I hope you have fun, enjoy yourself and be safe.” She kissed the top of your head. 

“I will be Mom, thank you.” You headed downstairs and waited outside for Josh to pick you up. You saw the familiar headlights of Josh’s jeep speeding down your street. He got out of the Jeep quickly and walked around the car. 

Your mouth dropped when you got a good glimpse of him. He was wearing nice black shorts and a nice white button up t-shirt. He looked nice, like really nice. He had shaved because his stubble was no longer there, and his blue hair was styled up and back. 

“You look gorgeous, Y/L/N,” he wrapped your body up in his arms and he dipped you down like in the movies, making you let out a little squeal. 

“Don’t drop me!” He lifted you back up, planting a kiss on your lips. “You look handsome too, Dun.”

“Ready for dinner?” He walked over to his Jeep and opened up the passenger door for you. You nodded and hopped in, smoothing out your dress so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. 

“Where are we going?” you asked while Josh headed out of your neighborhood and getting on the freeway.

“Just wait and see.”

The car ride wasn’t too long, and he pulled up to this building that had lights on it. The sign read Martini Modern Italian. Also known as one of the fanciest Italian restaurants in Columbus, Ohio.

“Josh! This place is so expensive.” You placed your hand over your mouth as you gasped. “How can you afford this?”

“Regional At Best is doing way better than we were expecting, and I wanted to treat you.” His eyes creased when he smiled, and again your stomach fluttered. You started to think of how he was moving tomorrow, but you tried to push the thought away because you wanted to enjoy the night. 

Josh grabbed your hand and walked inside to the Hostess at the front. “Reservation?” She asked in a high pitched voice. 

“Yes, two for Dun.” He gave your hand a little squeeze. 

“Right this way!” You followed the hostess to a little booth in a corner. There was a candle in the middle of the table and rose petals all over the table cloth. 

“Josh this is amazing,” you whispered in awe as you looked around. You had never been in such a fancy restaurant before. 

“Only the best for you.” You couldn’t help but blush at his kind words. You both talked about the album until the waiter showed up and took your orders.

“I’ll get a glass of Chardonnay, and an order of the Chicken Carbonara.” Josh handed the waiter his menu, and then it was your turn. 

“May I please just have a glass of water, and I’ll order the Shrimp Marinara.” You handed her the menu with a smile. 

“Just water, huh?” Josh chuckled. 

“I’m only eighteen.”

“And I’m only 23.”

“You’re old,” you giggled.

“And you’re a baby. My baby,” he teased back.

“Ew, don’t ever call me that again.” You did a gagging motion making Josh burst out in laughter. Your meals came, and you had to take a picture of the fancy plates before digging in. The food was delicious, and you didn’t want it to stop but soon your stomach felt tight in your dress.

“I’m so full,” you groaned, rubbing your stomach. 

“Me too!” Josh pushed his plate forward and leaned back. He paid the bill, which he didn’t let you see but you were guessing it was probably really expensive. 

“Back to the car!” he pointed his finger forward and started marching, which made you hide your face with embarrassment.

“Can you not march in the middle of a prestigious restaurant,” you mumbled. “Where are we going anyway?”

“It’s a surprise, but it’s a long car ride.”

“Mount Jeez?” you raised an eyebrow as Josh opened the passenger door. 

He groaned, “How did you guess?”

“It’s night time, and where else would we drive far too? We’re obviously going stargazing on the top of Mount Jeez!”

“You’re too smart.” 

Josh got in the car and started it, and you sat back in your seat. It was only around 8pm, so the sun was just starting to set but it was a solid 80 degrees out. One of the warmest nights you have seen in Ohio in August. 

Josh blared the Fun. album, making it a tradition when you head up to the lookout. 

You kicked off your heels and layed further in the seat. You rolled down the window and let the wind blow your curls back. Josh held your left hand tight, and he rubbed your hand. 

The hour and a half drive went by quickly, and before you knew it Josh was driving up onto the lookout. He kept his car running and hopped out. You unbuckled with confusion and got out too. 

Josh held his hand out to you, “May I have this dance?” he said with a smirk. You nodded and grabbed his hand. He pulled you close and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your heels were still off, so you were shorter. 

  The music mixed with the sound of the telephone wires sizzling above you and your body swayed with Josh’s. He would spin you around, and both of you would laugh. You leaned your body close to his, your body buzzing. He made you feel electric. 

“You’re the best,” he whispered as you slowly rocked back and forth. You looked up at him and kissed him, passionately. 

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave either.”

“I think I’m going to miss you forever,” your eyes started to well up with tears. “You know, this summer was filled with tears and sadness.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Next summer will be better, I promise.”

“Next summer?” you looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Yes, Y/N, I don’t plan on letting you go ever even if I am living across the country.”

“Thank you, Josh, thank you,” you sobbed into his shirt letting your emotions consume you. After a few minutes, you pulled away and wiped your eyes. Josh walked to his Jeep and turned it off, grabbing blankets to put on the ground. 

“The sun is almost gone,” he said. The sky was starting to light up with the stars and moon. You laid down next to Josh while he rubbed your arm. 

“Kiss me, Josh,” you whispered. You wanted him to kiss you hard, one last night before he goes. Josh planted his lips on yours and you grabbed at his hair desperately. You weren’t usually the one to be so forward, but you knew what you wanted. 

You pulled yourself up so you were sitting on Josh’s body and you continued to kiss him. You then grabbed his shoulders and rolled over so he was on top of you. He didn’t let his full body weight down though, so you didn’t get crushed. 

“Off,” you whispered in between a kiss as you fumbled with his shirt buttons. Josh got the clue and took it off and you started to shimmy out of your dress. 

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Josh asked, knowing where this was leading to. 

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Out here?”

“Yes.”

“You want to lose your virginity the day I leave across the country?” 

“Joshua! Don’t kill the mood. I said I get to decide, and I want to. Now.” You grabbed his face and pulled him back down, and you rolled back on top of him. 

You were expecting to be nervous, especially being out in public, but you felt invincible as if nothing could ever scare you again. You pulled off Josh’s shorts and left him in his woven boxers. You felt Josh struggling with your bra strap so you helped him out. 

The next thirty minutes of foreplay was soft and gentle as compared to before. Every touch and every lick was made with love, making sure the other was feeling pleasured and safe. 

“You ready?” Josh asked, kneeling in front of you. You laid on your back naked, coming down from a climax. 

“Yes,” you nodded and bit your lip and Josh moved closer to you. You couldn’t believe that you were going to lose your virginity, right here, but it all felt so right. You stared into Josh’s chocolate brown eyes as he slowly pushed into you. 

“Oh my god,” you blurted out. It hurt. Bad. Way more than you were expecting.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” Josh looked at you with worry in his face.

You shook your head and clenched your mouth, “No, go slow.” Josh did exactly that. His moves were slow, and you were able to stretch out and become used to his size. The pain turned into pleasure fast, and you couldn’t keep your moans inside as you felt things you had never felt before. 

You kept your eyes closed for most of the time, but at one point you opened them and the look of Josh made you almost tear up. He looked vulnerable, yet strong. The moon shined down on his naked skin, making it appear luminescent, and his eyes were closed as he focused on the pleasure you both were feeling. 

You reached up and grabbed his shoulders to bring his body down to yours so you could kiss him. You tangled your hands in his hair, and moans filled the air. 

“Josh,” you whispered as you could feel him finish. He pulled out and laid next to you, staring into your eyes. You both had sweat dripping down each other’s faces, and your hearts were racing. 

“Thank you for letting me be your first time,” he spoke softly as he caressed your cheek with his thumb. 

“Thank you for being my first time,” you smiled. “Can I tell you something?”

“Anything,” he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“You know I said I think I might have been falling in love?”

“Yeah?”

“I definitely fell in love,” you placed a soft kiss on Josh’s swollen lips. “I love you so much, Joshua Dun.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 1213
> 
> Warnings: Angst, sadness, fluff
> 
> Author’s note: The last chapter! Thank you all for the support through this entire series! I think I really grew with my writing, and this was my largest project yet! I really hope you enjoy!
> 
> Song Suggestion: Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran

 

“I love you too, Y/F/N Y/L/N.” Josh’s voice was soft, and he placed little kisses all over your bare shoulder. 

“I’m so sleepy,” you yawned.

“Me too, let’s sleep in the car.” Josh stood up and threw on a t-shirt and basketball shorts he had packed in his car. 

“I don’t have any clothes besides for my dress,” you said as you wrapped yourself in a blanket. 

“I came prepared.” Josh shuffled around in his Jeep before pulling out a pair of sweatpants and one of his t-shirts. He handed you them, and you threw them on. They smelled like Josh, and you were hoping he would let you keep them after he left to Washington. 

Josh laid down the back seats and created a little bed with pillows and blankets so you both could sleep in the back and be comfortable. You both got tucked in, and you nuzzled under Josh’s shoulder. 

“I can’t believe you leave tomorrow,” you mumbled. You started to think back on the summer. Good memories and bad memories. 

You had no idea that the boy you met at a party would impact your life so much.

You had no idea that an older boy with gauges and tattoos could hurt you so much, yet make you fall in love so quickly and deeply. 

You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Josh, and you wanted to help him and support him through everything.

“Y/N, why are you crying?” Josh asked when he noticed teardrops falling on his chest. 

“I’m going to miss you, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me too, but I promise everything will be okay. We can facetime, we can call, and I’ll be home for the holidays.”

“Promise you won’t leave me?”

“I promise, Y/N, I love you and only you.”

“I love you, even more, Joshua.” You closed your eyes and the next thing you knew you were sleeping on a snoring Josh. 

     *      *     *     *     *     *

“Good morning my love,” Josh whispered into your ear. You opened your eyes, being blinded by the sunlight.

“Josh?” you looked around trying to remember where you were, and the memories of last night came back to you. “Josh.”

“I’m right here, my love.”

“I could get used to that,” you chuckled.

“What?”

“My love! I like when you call me that,” you told him. You sat up more, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and fixing your hair that had fallen out. 

“You’re always going to be my love,” he kissed your forehead. “We need to get going though, I need to leave by noon. It’s going to be a long few days of driving.”

“I wish I could come with you,” you mumbled, knowing that there was no way and that these were your last few hours with him. 

“I know, but we are going to go back to my house first to finish packing the stuff I haven’t shipped there, and then I’ll drop you off at your house.”

“Okay,” you said sadly. You really did not want to let him go, but there was nothing you could do. The road trip back to his house was spent with you belting out Awolnation, and giving Josh his own little concert.

“I don’t think I’ve ever sung that loud before,” you yelled over the music.

“You’re such a good singer, I really think that you should Tyler’s place in the band.”

“Speaking of the band, what’s going to happen with that?”

Josh shrugged, “He is still going to write music and we are going to try to make it work.”

“That’s good because the band is getting so big! Maybe one day you will be so famous that you get noticed in public places! Or people will make fan accounts of you and stuff!”

“That sounds horrible, plus I don’t want people stalking every move I do.”

“Maybe people will write fanfiction about you,” you giggled.

“Oh god, I don’t even want to think about that.” Josh grabbed your hand and he held it all the way back to his apartment. He parked his jeep and you helped him take in the blankets and pillows so there was enough room for his boxes and suitcases. 

You helped him pack up the last of his clothes. He had already shipped kitchen essentials as well as bedding and stuff like that. He was moving into an already furnished apartment so he didn’t need too much. 

“Is it weird going to college for the first time being so old?” you asked while you packed his toiletries.

“Not really, I wanted some gap years to figure myself out.”

“I’m glad you did.”

You and Josh brought out each box and suitcase one by one until his Jeep couldn’t hold anymore. You climbed into the passenger seat and watched Josh lock the front door to his apartment. 

The car ride to your house was spent with you holding in your tears, and Josh rubbing his thumb over your hand that he was holding tight. He pulled in front of your house and you both looked at each other. 

He grabbed your face and gave you one last long passionate kiss. The last one for a while. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against yours, and you both stayed like that for a few seconds. 

“I love you, Dun,” you whispered.

“I love you too, Y/L/N.”

“I’m going to miss you, so much.”

“I’ll miss you more.”

“Impossible,” you smiled. You looked up into his big brown eyes. You studied his face, just so that you wouldn’t forget it. You focused on his soft lips, and his nose ring, and his wrinkles next to his eyes when he smiled. 

You opened the door and hopped out. You closed the door and walked to your door before turning around, and blowing a kiss to Josh. He pretended to catch it and bring it to his heart. 

“Bye, Y/L/N,” he waved as he started his jeep and started to drive away. 

“Goodbye, Joshua.” Your vision became blurry as the Jeep got smaller and smaller. Once you couldn’t see it anymore, your world felt like it stopped. You could feel your heartbeat in your stomach, and it was hard to catch your breath. “Goodbye.”

Your heart ached, not like when it felt broken from earlier in the summer, but a different type of ache. One where it felt like it could still function, but was missing something so it wasn’t functioning fully. It felt empty, yet heavier. 

You walked inside your house and ignored your family asking if you were okay. You were numb, and the world was moving slowly as if it was a few frames behind. You laid on your bed and looked up at your ceiling. Your phone buzzed and you grabbed to see you got a text from Josh already. 

_I miss you already. Just like how the stars miss the sun in the morning sky._

You held your phone next to your chest and breathed in heavily. You had already started counting down the days until you saw Josh again.

**_The End._ **


End file.
